I do not have a lot of hope for this Twins season. They traded my favorite player (Ben Revere), acquired 150 new starting pitchers, all of whom top out at "mediocre", and are coming off two of the worst seasons in team history. It is in that spirit that I propose we instead spend our time coming up with Twins-related puns to use as pet names.
The big favorite, of course, is "Joe Meower" - if there are not already 1,000 cats by that name in the Twin Cities metropolitan area, our society has failed. But why stop there? After some prompting in another thread, we came up with a few more, inspired by Twins past and present...
Brian Doz-purr
Kent Purrbeck
Harmon Kittymew
Purrby Pawcatt
Tom Brucatsky
Denny Hockingupahairball
Obviously, Twins history lends itself well to cat names. But why stop there?
Ryan Doumutt
Bark Guthrie
Rod Carooooooo (you have to say it like you're howling at the moon)
Gene Barkin
Greg Wagne
If you have a pet cow? Paul Moolitor! If you have a pet sheep? You don't even have to change the guy's name - Mike Lamb! What about a bug? Gary Flyetti!
I should probably do something else now. Discuss in the comments!