This is for all the arm-chair geo-politcal analysts out there that correctly predicted N. Korea's current saber (sp. intended) rattling as well as Kevin Correia's solid production. Feel free to bookmark this and remind me in a few months after somebody gets nuked, figuratively or literally.
Long live the Eternal Leader Kim-Il Pohlad! Only he had the courage to foreclose on over-their head beaugois capitalists who had no business owning homes, thus leading to our great Republic in the North, the Minnesota Twins.
Kim-Il Pohlad II has wisely followed his father's lead, safely storing barrels of cash derived from selling $11 hotdogs and $14 beers in a secret, underwater bunker.
Meanwhile, in the decadent, capitalist south, teams spend money as if it soon won't be worth anything. One team spent $170 Million on a pitcher with repeated instances of anarchic behavior and whom injured himself in a "cowboy" style show of bravado. Another team spent $125 Million on a known user of illicit substances who now has a very public relationship with a false deity. And yet another spent lavishly on a fancy Japanese import, whom their propagandists profess can throw 13 different pitches.
Meanwhile, in the North we reward loyal members of the party, especially ones with names similar to our revered benefactor, the father of Asian Communism. He and other players embody the heart of the state morals--do not speak out, drink cheap milk, and walk a lot. Seriously, because we can't afford cars.
Intellectuals are not welcome here, nor are "hipsters" who know how to tweet or do algebra. Nor are malingerers, those unable to "grit it out" or "hustle their tails off." Those players all eventually end up in Baltimore. Or Miami.
The shining example of our proud Replacementariat also honors our namesake. He pitches on a paltry contract, is not especially good looking or tall, but shows up for work at the factory and pulls 7/9ths of a full shift every five days. Like loyal Party members before him, such as Jong-ku Ortiz, Syd-Ill Pongson, and Ka-el Pavang (also the father of Superman), they toe the rubber every five days for two straight months, never flinching, never shirking, and though the armies of the decadent capitalists may rain Hellfire and Drone strikes, the proud people of the North shall push ahead, assured in the rightheousness of the anti-stat regressive regime who does not see the usefullness of things such as WAR, iPods, WHIP, medicine (or a competent medical training staff), electricity, or even Wins. Long Live the Eternal Leader Kim-Il Pohlad.
P.S. Though we despise the decadent South, we have recently acquired secret technology that will allow us to build our own version of the latest doomsday machine--the Frontline Starter Strikeout Machine, or FZM for short. Currently prototypes have not advanced beyond the AA stage, but the saber-rattling can commence.