The invaluable Parker Hageman noted this morning that former Twin and confirmed Australian Luke Hughes has signed a contract to play his native country's version of football. This press release from the Subiaco Football Club has all the details, as well as a sweet picture of Hughes with a bat in one hand and a football in the other.
Some things to note:
- RE: that picture. I just assume that all Australian men walk around like that at all times, with the exception of TV's The Wiggles and maybe the guy from Midnight Oil. It may be a cricket bat or an ax handle instead of a baseball bat, but I'm certain that I'm right about this. You get a wallaby looking at you cross, you need to be able to defend yourself and/or your Sheila.
- After the Blue Jays cut him loose in 2012, Hughes played summer ball for the Alcohol. Think Again Perth Heat (yes, that is punctuated correctly). Laugh now, but this brings us one step closer to the 1-800-ASK GARY Minnesota Timberwolves, and I heartily approve of this.
- For those of you unfamiliar, Australian Rules Football is a sport that's played, as you may have guessed, in Australia, and is a Road Warrior-esque amalgam of 'Murican football, rugby and a meth-fueled biker brawl. I asked our resident niche sport expert Jon Marthaler if Hughes can use his bat in the field of play, and he responded that if Hughes used it "inside the center square, his team would be penalized three rucks." I have no idea if he's kidding.
- In an earlier, better time, you could reliably count on Aussie football being aired on ESPN on a weekday afternoon before SportsCenter. Now it's just an orange dude shouting at Stephen A. Smith and both of them being loud and wrong all the time about everything. Bring back Aussie football and Roy Firestone practically rimming Steve Garvey or Jim Everett, and you will improve ESPN five-fold.