- Salty snacks
- Fantasy football
- Fantasy NASCAR
- Fantasy hockey
- Dungeons & Dragons
- Clash of Clans
- All versions of poker except Low Chicago (no wild cards, either)
- Eating after 7:00 PM
- Attempting to get caught up on Mad Men. He's halfway through Season 2. He understands why other people like it, but it just doesn't do anything for him.
- Dairy
- Collecting Hummel figurines. Just too expensive, not enough time during the season to pay attention to it. Selling them to Tom Brunansky for $45.
- Yellow Starbursts
- Orange Starbursts
- Tropical Starbursts
- All the other alternative Starbursts. Just cherry and strawberry Starbursts for Hicksy going forward.
- Crossfit
- Pilates
- Krav maga
- Hot yoga
- Cold yoga
- Room-temperature yoga
- est
- Primal scream therapy
- Kickboxing (sport of the future his ass, Lloyd Dobler)
- His dream of opening a taproom in Northeast Minneapolis. Too much market saturation. Maybe Richfield?
- Hashtag activism
- Arcade Fire. Nothing's really grabbed him since Funeral.
- Daylight Saving Time
- Selling Norwex
- Selling Mary Kay
- Selling Amway
- Learning a second language
- Learning ceramics
- Learning French cooking
- The novel he's been working on. It's just terrible. The characters, the plot, everything. Just better off starting over. Shit.
- OKCupid
- Match.com
- His blog
- Farmville
- Candy Crush
- Bejeweled Blitz
- 2048
- The Frogger machine he bought on a whim at a flea market
- FarmersOnly.com. It's only for farmers. They're serious about this.
- Homemade jerky making. Again, tough to do during the season, and you need to get the seasoning mix just right. Putting the surplus meat in Perkins' locker.
- South Beach Diet
- Atkins Diet
- Paleo Diet
- Jason Kubel's "Just Gravy and Fries" Diet
- Batting from the right side, too. Pitchers will be forced to adjust. Let's. Play. Ball.