A List of Other Things Aaron Hicks Is Giving Up

has not given up fielding, but he's open to anything - Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

The struggling Twins outfielder gave up switch-hitting earlier this week. He's not stopping there.

  • Salty snacks
  • Fantasy football
  • Fantasy NASCAR
  • Fantasy hockey
  • Dungeons & Dragons
  • Clash of Clans
  • All versions of poker except Low Chicago (no wild cards, either)
  • Eating after 7:00 PM
  • Attempting to get caught up on Mad Men.  He's halfway through Season 2.  He understands why other people like it, but it just doesn't do anything for him.
  • Dairy
  • Collecting Hummel figurines.  Just too expensive, not enough time during the season to pay attention to it.  Selling them to Tom Brunansky for $45.
  • Yellow Starbursts
  • Orange Starbursts
  • Tropical Starbursts
  • All the other alternative Starbursts.  Just cherry and strawberry Starbursts for Hicksy going forward.
  • Crossfit
  • Pilates
  • Krav maga
  • Hot yoga
  • Cold yoga
  • Room-temperature yoga
  • est
  • Primal scream therapy
  • Kickboxing (sport of the future his ass, Lloyd Dobler)
  • His dream of opening a taproom in Northeast Minneapolis.  Too much market saturation.  Maybe Richfield?
  • Hashtag activism
  • Arcade Fire.  Nothing's really grabbed him since Funeral.
  • Daylight Saving Time
  • Selling Norwex
  • Selling Mary Kay
  • Selling Amway
  • Learning a second language
  • Learning ceramics
  • Learning French cooking
  • The novel he's been working on.  It's just terrible.  The characters, the plot, everything.  Just better off starting over.  Shit.
  • OKCupid
  • Facebook
  • Match.com
  • His blog
  • Farmville
  • Candy Crush
  • Bejeweled Blitz
  • 2048
  • The Frogger machine he bought on a whim at a flea market
  • FarmersOnly.com.  It's only for farmers. They're serious about this.
  • Homemade jerky making.  Again, tough to do during the season, and you need to get the seasoning mix just right.  Putting the surplus meat in Perkins' locker.
  • South Beach Diet
  • Atkins Diet
  • Paleo Diet
  • Jason Kubel's "Just Gravy and Fries" Diet
  • Batting from the right side, too.  Pitchers will be forced to adjust.  Let's. Play. Ball.
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Twinkie Town

You must be a member of Twinkie Town to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Twinkie Town. You should read them.

Join Twinkie Town

You must be a member of Twinkie Town to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Twinkie Town. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker