Satire, Irreverence, & Other Humor

May, Meyer Call-Ups Hinge on Ancient Riddles


The Twins defended their process, while news surfaced of a secret quiz of ancient riddles.

Marlins Present Card, $20 to Retiring Jeter


"Don't spend it all in one place!"

A.J. Pierzynski Released By Long Island Chili's


"We wish him the best in his future endeavors."

Gardenhire: Morrissey Needs to Man Up


The Twins manager speaks his mind about the British alt-rock legend's string of cancellations.

Josh Willingham's Flood Tips


The Twins slugger shares his suggestions for coping with the rising waters throughout Minnesota

A non-analysis of what's wrong with Joe Mauer


What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with Joe? Myjah takes a mildly closer look.

"Freaky Friday" Antics Affect Verlander, Hughes


Sudden career reversals for both players may be explained by a spooky incident at a Miami hotel's haunted bathroom fixture.

Area Clod Wants to Know What You Think About Mauer


Classic north metro shit-for-brains Tom Hanson has had the same opinion about Joe Mauer for 10 years and two months. And now that it's finally correct, he wants you to know about it.


Scenes from the Dead Zone . . .

"Eh, it’s like Gaetti all over again. All "feelings," and "boo-hoo." Are you getting religion or something?"

The Other Things Aaron Hicks is Giving Up


The struggling Twins outfielder gave up switch-hitting earlier this week. He's not stopping there.


Equine Nasal Strips Fail to Spur Mauer Hot Streak


The nasal strips have already been discarded, but not before a frightening pinata incident.

Twins: Hicks Needs to Step Up On Field, In Cockpit


"As it turns out, we likely broke hundreds of aviation laws and narrowly avoided certain death."

Kubel, Cardboard Dale Jr., Twine Ball to Start


Battered bench leaves Twins stretched thin, relying on things that aren't people.

Pelfrey Stepping "Good Clubhouse Guy" Game Up


His place in the rotation under siege, the veteran hurler looks to step his glue game up.

Rejected Vin Scully Nicknames for Justin Morneau


In a Twinkie Town exclusive, Jesse gets hold of a list of rejected nicknames for former Twin Justin Morneau, by famed Dodger announcer Vin Scully.

Twins "Don't Suck Anymore" Method Paying Dividends


"Not being terrible has really had an impact on the field and in the clubhouse."


The Legend of Chris Colabello

Community member Flip27 can't get enough 'Bello.

Mauer: Valleyfair Is Fun For The Whole Family


"The funnel cakes are good, too."

Mauer Continues Silence on Cattle Mutilations


"I'm not saying he's the one doing it, but has he ever denied it, even once? Funny. Draw your own conclusions."

Investigation Launched Into Thursday's Game


So THAT is why Thursday's game between the White Sox and Twins was so ridiculously entertaining.

"Small Sample Size" Lifts Twins Fan's Spirits


"It's good to have things that are constant, things that don't ever change."

Office Crossfit Guy Solves Twins Problems


Will the popular exercise regimen really help the Twins in 2014? One local bro thinks so.

2014 Minnesota Twins Rain Delay Programming


From April blizzards to September monsoons, FSN has you covered.

Rep. Pat Garofalo Apologizes for his 2014 Preview


This was not unexpected.

Rep. Pat Garofalo Previews the 2014 Twins


You've read his thoughts on the NBA. Now read Rep. Garofalo's thoughts on what the season has in store for your Minnesota Twins

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