Satire, Irreverence, & Other Humor

Punto Live Snake Challenge Ends in Tragedy, Bites

18

"I thought it would raise awareness of intensity and getting after it. In a way, it did. A horrible, horrible way."

FanPost
10

Coaches Meeting: Gardy Reads Twinkie Town

It can't end well.

Glen Perkins Selects "The Girl from Ipanema"

16

"I really enjoy bossa nova music. It's soothing, and helps me chuck heaters."

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20

Twenty-Five Shortstops

TawnyFroggy is tired of shortstops playing center field for the Twins. She wants them to play everywhere. EVERYWHERE. In this alternate reality, Tawny takes over as the Twins GM for 2014.

GUEST COLUMN: Find The Jade Idol, by Terry Ryan

12

In a guest column, the Twins longtime GM says Saturday's starting pitcher depends on you finding a hidden gem.

Mauer Workshopping New Expression of Mild Approval

17

Is "pretty neat deal" on the block?

May, Meyer Call-Ups Hinge on Ancient Riddles

21

The Twins defended their process, while news surfaced of a secret quiz of ancient riddles.

Marlins Present Card, $20 to Retiring Jeter

17

"Don't spend it all in one place!"

A.J. Pierzynski Released By Long Island Chili's

14

"We wish him the best in his future endeavors."

Gardenhire: Morrissey Needs to Man Up

9

The Twins manager speaks his mind about the British alt-rock legend's string of cancellations.

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Josh Willingham's Flood Tips

9

The Twins slugger shares his suggestions for coping with the rising waters throughout Minnesota

A non-analysis of what's wrong with Joe Mauer

32

What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is wrong with Joe? Myjah takes a mildly closer look.

"Freaky Friday" Antics Affect Verlander, Hughes

17

Sudden career reversals for both players may be explained by a spooky incident at a Miami hotel's haunted bathroom fixture.

Area Clod Wants to Know What You Think About Mauer

32

Classic north metro shit-for-brains Tom Hanson has had the same opinion about Joe Mauer for 10 years and two months. And now that it's finally correct, he wants you to know about it.

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4

Scenes from the Dead Zone . . .

"Eh, it’s like Gaetti all over again. All "feelings," and "boo-hoo." Are you getting religion or something?"

The Other Things Aaron Hicks is Giving Up

23

The struggling Twins outfielder gave up switch-hitting earlier this week. He's not stopping there.

Equine Nasal Strips Fail to Spur Mauer Hot Streak

15

The nasal strips have already been discarded, but not before a frightening pinata incident.

Twins: Hicks Needs to Step Up On Field, In Cockpit

19

"As it turns out, we likely broke hundreds of aviation laws and narrowly avoided certain death."

Kubel, Cardboard Dale Jr., Twine Ball to Start

25

Battered bench leaves Twins stretched thin, relying on things that aren't people.

Pelfrey Stepping "Good Clubhouse Guy" Game Up

12

His place in the rotation under siege, the veteran hurler looks to step his glue game up.

Rejected Vin Scully Nicknames for Justin Morneau

42

In a Twinkie Town exclusive, Jesse gets hold of a list of rejected nicknames for former Twin Justin Morneau, by famed Dodger announcer Vin Scully.

Twins "Don't Suck Anymore" Method Paying Dividends

10

"Not being terrible has really had an impact on the field and in the clubhouse."

FanPost
9

The Legend of Chris Colabello

Community member Flip27 can't get enough 'Bello.

Mauer: Valleyfair Is Fun For The Whole Family

22

"The funnel cakes are good, too."

Mauer Continues Silence on Cattle Mutilations

10

"I'm not saying he's the one doing it, but has he ever denied it, even once? Funny. Draw your own conclusions."

Investigation Launched Into Thursday's Game

13

So THAT is why Thursday's game between the White Sox and Twins was so ridiculously entertaining.

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