Pitchers Wanted
If you have an arm, you too could soon be pitching for a Major League baseball team! The Minnesota Twins, in the most creative and out-of-the-box PR move since sideburns, are now offering walk-on auditions for anyone who can tell which direction home plate is. That's right: YOU COULD BE A MINNESOTA TWIN!
Just for trying out, you get:
- A free buzz cut!
- Free sideburns!
- A minor league pitcher of your choice as your personal bodyguard!
- Matt LeCroy will be Santa Claus at your next family Christmas/Ramadan/Hanukah/Religious Holiday of Choice!
- Did we mention the FREE SIDEBURNS?
If you or anyone you know can pitch, and aren't Matt Garza or Kevin Slowey, call 1-800-I-PITCH-OK. You could be the next Joe Mauer!*
* You will not be the next Joe Mauer
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10 comments
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I
I wouldn't mind being a Knight on an Tropical Island nation, that's for sure...
by AdamOnFirst on
May 22, 2007 12:24 AM EDT
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I picked Seth
by cmathewson on
May 22, 2007 10:40 AM EDT
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I've been
by Jesse on
May 22, 2007 10:44 AM EDT
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In this case
"Show us your best intimidating face, Okay. Show us your best impression of Hideo Nomo. Okay. Now growl a little. Okay. Now look incredulous and hurt after an ump has tossed you for drilling someone. Whoa, whoa, take it back a little. Okay, good."
by AdamOnFirst on
May 22, 2007 11:02 AM EDT
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I'm in!
On the flip side, my pitches probably can't break the speed limit on a 2-lane highway, that last time I pitched was when I was 15, and in my only other outing of that season, against the same team, I was pulled after 2 2/3, giving up 7 earned runs, including the only ground-rule double I ever witnessed at our Legion baseball field.
by BeefMaster on
May 22, 2007 2:15 PM EDT
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I can...
by djskilbr on
May 22, 2007 2:24 PM EDT
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I vote Lundie!
He is by far the best twins blogger option to "audition." It still is a try-out fool.
Anyway, even if you didnt pan out as a pitcher...Your amazing shoulder pop-out routine at the plate is just sportscenter worthy!
by mbennett on
May 22, 2007 2:41 PM EDT
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Lefty looking for work
Played varsity 3 out of my 4 yrs in High School.
Can I get some work. Willing to play cheap
by caluofmn on
May 22, 2007 5:26 PM EDT
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Will
Will pitch for per diam and signed balls. Also, baseball cards of self.
by AdamOnFirst on
May 22, 2007 5:38 PM EDT
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