No, this is not the All-Scrabble Team, since I've forgone names like Xavier and Sturtze. Regardless, if you were a play-by-play announcer for this team, you'd have a long summer.
Qualifications for making this team weren't anything solid. I shot for a minimum of 9-letter last names, and if they had longer first names that was just a bonus.
This is definately one of those things you do when you're bored.
POS PLAYER
C A.J. Pierzynski
1B Doug Mientkiewicz
1B Shea Hillenbrand
2B Mark Grudzielanek
3B Edwin Encarnacion
SS Nomar Garciaparra
OF Frank Catalanotto
OF Reggie Abercrombie
OF Todd Hollandsworth
OF Ryan Langerhans
P Jason Isringhausen
P Bartolome Fortunato
P Oscar Villarreal
P Jason Duchscherer
P Scott Schoeneweiss
This constitutes nine batters plus a pinch-hitter, and five relief pitchers. They all went two innings and Isringhausen closed it out in the ninth. In my mind.
Pierzynski gives the signs, and here's the delivery from Bartolome Fortunato. It's a fly ball to left field...and a DIVING CATCH by Frank Catalanotto! The runners are caught off base! Catalanotto is up, hits Garciaparra the cut-off man! Garciaparra to Grudzielank to Mientkiewicz...it's a TRIPLE PLAY!
Duchscherer high-fives Encarnacion, while Hollandsworth and Abercrombie sign autographs and Schoeneweiss dumps gatorade on his manager. The game isn't even over. Hillenbrand and Langerhans pick each other's noses and Villarreal tries to tell them how gross it is.
There. Everyone got involved.