clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Offseason Activities

Over a week has passed since the end of the Twins' 2007 season.  By now, lockers have been cleaned out, goodbyes have been said, and golf clubs have been unpacked.  The team, in such close proximity to one another for eight months, is now scattered to the winds.

In the old days, when holding the job of baseball player didn't guarantee minor riches, players would take off-season jobs to help make ends meet.  For the most part, today's players don't need to deal with this.

Nevertheless... what if...


Nick Punto: Impotence spokesman

Torii Hunter: "Hands-off" physical therapist

Chris Heintz: Maytag repairman

Dennys Reyes: Chippendale dancer

Pat Neshek: Clerk, The Android's Dungeon

Mike Redmond: Mechanic, Joe's Auto Repair

Matthew LeCroy: Official taster, Bob's House of Bacon

Boof Bonser: Special assistant to Mr. LeCroy

Julio DePaula: Mop Specialist, SuperTarget

Johan Santana: Vice President, Venezuela

Justin Morneau: Wingman, Brent Burns

Joe Mauer: Director and Spokesman, QuickSwingButFirstTakeThreePitchesNoMatterTheSituationOrTheCount

Others?  I'm sure you do...