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Ten Facts About Mike Redmond

I admit to being mightily impressed with Mike Redmond's performances over the past two days of the season, which involved twenty innings of catching, a pair of visits from the trainer, and two of the biggest hits of the season for the Twins.

Redmond is getting a deserved day off today, but in honor of his efforts so far this week, I present to you ten little-known facts about the Twins catcher.

  • Mike Redmond shaves each morning by taking foul tips off of his face.
  • The only time a ball is actually a "dead ball" is after it hits Mike Redmond.
  • The disabled list does not exist in Mike Redmond's world.  For Mike Redmond, there are only two lists: "Active" and "Dead."
  • New cars with automatic transmissions are not built with a clutch.  New cars with automatic transmissions are now built with a Mike Redmond.
  • Webster's Dictionary recently added three new cuss words, thanks to Mike Redmond getting excited during a game against the White Sox.
  • Mike Redmond does not go to the opposite field.  The opposite field comes to Mike Redmond.
  • Several well-respected medical textbooks now refer to bruises as "Mike Redmond suntans."
  • Mike Redmond actually CAN smell RBIs.  They smell like tasty barbecued ribs.
  • In the past, Chris Heintz has been on the major league roster to provide insurance in case Mike Redmond has to leave the game with an injury.  Chris Heintz has never attended a major league baseball game, ever.
  • Mike Redmond is never called for catcher's interference.  The batter is called out for being dumb enough to hit Mike Redmond with the bat.