Courtesy of Jeff Zrebiec of the Baltimore Sun, online.
I'm pretty sure the conversation went something like this:
MacPhail: Hey, you guys need a second baseman?
Smith: Ummm...(checking through stats)...no. No, we don't.
MacPhail: Really? Huh. (Laughs) What, you bringin' back Rivas?!?
Smith: Up yours, MacPhail. We have this Casilla kid. He's pretty decent.
MacPhail: Oh. (Pause) You mind if we talk about Roberts anyway?
Smith: (Exhales loudly) Fine.
MacPhail: Well, he's a great player, a good offensive guy with a pretty good glove. Good makeup. Big part of our team and we'd like to keep him around, but...
Smith: But you've been leaking trade rumors for the last eight months and now he has to be moved?
MacPhail: Has it been eight months? (Silence...MacPhail counts months on fingers) It's more like ten. So, what will it take to get this guy into a Twins uniform?
Smith: I don't know, Andy. Do we really have to go through this? I told you we're not looking for a second baseman.
MacPhail: Plleeeeaaaassse? Don't make me call the Cubs back again!
MacPhail: Okay, here, I'll start the conversation. How about...Roberts for Scott Baker, Trevor Plouffe and...Erik Lis?
MacPhail: Okay...how about, Roberts for Nick Blackburn, Danny Valencia aaandd....hey, Alexi Casilla! That would solve your problems!
Smith: Yeah. Okay. Let's do that.
MacPhail: DAMMIT! Fine, you offer something.
Smith: I'll send you...one stationary bike and a gift certificate to Home Depot for Roberts, and you pay his salary for the next three years.
MacPhail: That Home Depot is one helluva store, huh?
Smith: Did Cubs fans run you out of town on a rail?
MacPhail: Still can't do it, sorry. What else can you give me?
Smith: Andy! Nothing, okay? Nothing! We're not interested in Brian Roberts, even if he is a good player. It's just not a good time right now. (Hangs up)
MacPhail: Fine! Fine! I'll take your offer! (Snickers to himself) Haha, you hung up, you didn't hear me and now you'll never know I said yes! Heehee...
That's pretty much how I expect that conversation went.
For anyone who's interested, Roberts is 30 (turns 31 in October), and is hitting .290/.372/.469 this season. While he's a .282/.353/.414 career hitter, since 2005 he's batted .295/.378/.454...which is significantly better as he's been at his physical peak. Roberts is making $6.3 million this season and $8 million in '09, including a 4-team limited no-trade clause. He'd be eligible for free agency after the 2009 season.
That's all for now. See you tonight for the game!