This is taken directly from my Facebook status this morning:
Jesse would like to thank the Colorado Rockies for bringing Lew Ford back into our lives, if only for a short time.

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MbennettLew has to be careful...with Denver's high elevation, his shirts may not iron the same way. Perhaps he should try taking the shirt off his body, and placing it on an ironing board this time around.
JesseI fail to see the fun in doing mundane, everyday things the safe way. Going to the store? Drive backward with your feet and one eye closed. Ironing? Forgo the board and use your body to ensure a smooth, form-fitting wear. Bunting to get on base? Bunt the ball into your chin.
CmathewsonLight saber noises!
When I say things like "If still plays for the Twins", I mean "He still plays for the Twins". Clearly my phone didn't correctly predict my text after all, thanks for nothing T9.
The names were sort of changed to protect the innocent from admitting in public that they're actually my friends.
Welcome back, Lew Ford! I'm looking forward to seeing at least one more of these, even if it's not in a Twins uniform:
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