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Brewers Assign Jason Tyner to Tigers

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You could call it a trade, but the only thing Milwaukee got out of the deal was roster space.  Now property of the Detroit Tigers, Jason Tyner has made stops in three of the five AL Central locations.  Here's a transcript of Tyner's first phone call after he got word that he was a Tiger.

Gardy:  (Picks up phone)  Hello?
Tyner:  Hey Ron, it's Jason.
Gardy:  Hey, Barty, how's Tampa Bay?
Tyner:  No.
Gardy:  Kubel?  Listen chump, if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, you need to shave off that ratty...
Tyner:  (Interrupting)  NO!  It's Tyner.  Jason TYNER!
Gardy:  Oh.  (Pause)  Hi.  (Pause)  What's up?
Tyner:  I just wanted to you know the Tigers want me.
Gardy:  Hey, that's great buddy.
Tyner:  Yeah, they were all like, 'you're fast' and 'you're versatile' and 'you're a gamer'.  They really like me for those things.
Gardy:  Awesome.
Tyner:  You used to like me for those things.
Gardy:  Listen, Jason...
Tyner:  Save it, Colonel Sanders.  I'm so over you.  I've got  a new AL Central team now.  You can't have me.  How does that make you feel?
Gardy:  (Pause)  My grandma is on fire.  I have to go.  (Hangs up)
Tyner:  He'll call back.

Best wishes, Jason Tyner.