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Night Man, Phillies Triumph Over Day Man, Twins, 9-5

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Despite being champions of the sun, the Twins, masters of karate and friendship for everyone,were unable to overcome another awful start from Nick Blackburn, as Philadelphia jumped to an 8-0 lead before the second inning was over.  Final score: Philadephia 9, Minnesota 5.

Blackburn didn't fool anyone, giving up three runs in the first on a collection of walks, singles and a Ryan Howard triple.  The second inning proved to be even worse, as Chase Utley creamed a 2-out, 3-run homer to make the game 7-0.  Howard followed that with a solo dong, and Blackburn's night was over.

Joe Blanton, while not overwhelming, did what he had to do with an 8-run lead.  The Twins weren't able to put anything together against him until the middle innings, when Jason Kubel hit a triple.  Kubel then attempted to use his blazing speed to stretch it into an inside-the-park home run, which was an unwise, out-making decision.

With the score 9-0 thanks to another Ryan Howard (who was fantastic) home run, the Twins finally got on the board with a RBI from their starting third baseman, Michael Cuddyer.  Since typing that wasn't weird enough, the Twins followed that with a 2-run home run from Nick Punto.  You'll be able to tell your kids exactly where you were when this happened.

In the 9th inning, the Twins did put together a rally that would have been much nicer in a closer game, bunching some hits together, scoring a couple more runs and forcing Charlie Manuel to use Brad Lidge to get the game's final out, another Joe Mauer liner hit right at someone.


  • Ryan Howard: 4-4, 2 HR, 2B, 3B, 3 RBI.  That's good.
  • Nick Punto: He hit a 2-run home run.  I have to honor this achievement somehow.
  • Twins Bullpen: 7.1 IP, 1 ER.  Congrats to Crain, Mahay, Burnett, Duensing and Guerrier on keeping a blowout from becoming embarrassing.
  • Michael Cuddyer.  He played third and was the least of the Twins problems.  I don't think he even had a fielding chance until the 7th, and the world didn't collapse.


  • Nick Blackburn.  1.2 IP, 6 H, 8 ER, 3 BB.  Guh. 
  • Boof Bonser.  He was DFA'd by the Red Sox.  Twins may need him by the end of the weekend if the starters don't hold up.

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.  Thank you for indulging my It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia lede and headline.