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More Old-Timey Twins Diseases?

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So last week, Jon Rauch missed a couple of games with hand, foot, and mouth disease. This is the type of thing that I would write in jest, but apparently it actually happened. Let's take a look at some other Twins, along with the old-timey-sounding disease that they're most at risk for:

Nick Punto: Hysterical gallbladder

Matt Guerrier: Housewives' knee

Matt Capps: Gout

Jose Mijares: Cholera

Joe Mauer: Day fever

Orlando Hudson: Lockjaw

Danny Valencia: Thrush

Kevin Slowey: Scrivener's palsy

Drew Butera: Grippe

Carl Pavano: Trench mouth

Anthony Slama: Grocer's itch

Scott Baker: Night terrors