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Joe Mauer Is Now Injured, Causing Calm Reasoning AND PANIC

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From the Associated Press, via ESPN.com:

Reigning AL MVP Joe Mauer left Minnesota's game against Oakland on Sunday with a balky left knee and is day to day. Mauer tweaked the knee while swinging when he grounded out in the sixth. He was replaced defensively by Jose Morales in the seventh. "I really don't know a whole lot right now," Mauer said. "Obviously I'd rather not have this going on, but here it is." Mauer said the pain in his knee began to worsen as he ran down the baseline.

Deep breaths. This isn't that bad. He's got some time to re- BUT THIS MEANS DREW BUTERA EVERY DAY AND THE TWINS MIGHT AS WELL FORFEIT FOR THE NEXT WEEK OH I HOPE THE WHITE SOX KEEP LOSING BECAUSE WE'RE SCREWED NOW

Wait now, this is just a day-to-day thing. He'll probably be back in four days EXCEPT THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT JUSTIN MORNEAU AND THAT WAS TWO MONTHS AGO AND HE STILL ISN'T BACK

Let's be calm, now. Sure, Gardy said he'd been dealing with soreness in this knee for awhile, so it's probably just precautionary OR MAYBE HE FINALLY TORE SOMETHING ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT HAPPENED TO MY DAD YOU KNOW HE WENT FROM SORE TO KNEE SURGERY JUST LIKE THAT AND NOW MAUER IS PROBABLY DONE FOR THE YEAR

The doctor's report so far is that there's no fluid, and just a little bit of inflammation BUT HE'S A CATCHER AND ALL IT TAKES IS A LITTLE INFLAMMATION AND BAM YOU CAN'T WALK

In the meantime, Mauer can take it easy, take a few days off, then return as the designated hitter if needed ALTHOUGH THE TWINS ALREADY HAVE FOUR OTHER GUYS WHO BELONG AT DH AND NOT IN THE FIELD SO WHERE DOES EVERYBODY FIT

In conclusion, there is nothing to worry about EXCEPT FOR EVERYTHING OH DISASTER OH FAILURE OH PANIC