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We Need a Home Run Call

By RandBall's Stu

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Per the eminently follow-able Jake Nyberg on Twitter, new Twins play-by-play voice Cory Provus doesn't have a trademark home run call, a la John Gordon's "Waaaay back and CAUGHT by the shortstop." Nyberg suggested that Twins fans come up with suggestions using the #CallsforCory hashtag. A capital idea, but one that needn't be limited to that medium and its 140 characters. Herewith are mine, which you may add to in our comments section:

  • "Toast points!"
  • "You can kiss that one goodbye with tongue!"
  • "Jesus, he hit that one f---ing hard. Damn."
  • "It all burns in the fire!"
  • "This home run brought to you by Golden Corral's new Chocolate Fountain!"
  • "Light up a cig, youngsters!"
  • "Tickle my ass with a feather!"
  • "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
  • "Suck. It."
  • "We all die alone!"
  • "That ball is punished like the captives in my underground sex dungeon!"
  • "K-k-k-kenny Geeeeeeeee!"
  • "We will see you At The Movies!"
  • "Show me on the doll where the home run touched you!"
  • "Down goes Frazier!"
  • "I'm MTV's Julie Brown!"
  • "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"
  • "Is this your homework Larry?"
  • "That ball is HGH-ed!"
  • "Four banana, three banana, two banana, one!"
  • "404 File Not Found, Motherf-----!"
  • "He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper!"
  • "Baseball vernacular!"
  • "Free peanuts for Telly!"
  • "Shop Smart! Shop S-Mart!"
  • "You're not fooling me, Ansel Adams!"
  • "That home run > Tebow"
  • "Into the mud, scum queen!"
  • "Just like all you stoners out there, that ball is high as hell!"
  • "And that ball is...you know what, I'm just never gonna be Vin Scully. I try and try and try, but it's just impossible. It'll never happen. It's not that I'm unsure of my own talent, I think I'm pretty good at what I do, in fact. It's just that he's set such a standard with his body of work that's it's useless to even try. Should have gone to med school like Dad said. Home run."
  • "Deep and hard! Deep and hard! Deep and hard!"
  • "The Giving Tree still makes me cry!"
  • "WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"
  • "Shut UP, Gladden."
  • "Hot Freaks!"
  • "A = A!"
  • "Gathering of the Juggalos!"
  • "Garmonbozia!"
  • "You are NOT the father!"

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