The Twins are still three games below .500. They're still four back of Cleveland even though they just beat the Indians twice in a row. They've given up 24 more runs than they've scored. They're last in the American League in hitting almost any way you slice it. And the bullpen is, at best, shaky.
But hey, they've won three in a row, and mom always said that if you can't find something nice to say, don't say it at all. So for once, let's be positive, and find something good to say about this year's Twins.
Let's see here...
Luke Hughes: Cool accent.
Joe Nathan: Beard really makes him look distinguished.
Joe Mauer: Hasn't grounded out to second in like two weeks.
Matt Capps: An inspiration to all the kiddos in the "husky" jeans.
Steve Holm: Fun to say his name. STEVE HOLM!
Jim Thome: Looks great in plaid. Awesome actor.
Michael Cuddyer: So far as we can prove, has not stabbed anyone that we know about.
Tsuyoshi Nishioka: Hasn't made an error since the first week of the season. Really studying the game.
Alexi Casilla: Really made us all feel a lot more positive towards Nick Punto.
Matt Tolbert: Double-earflap look reminds us of young Chuck Knoblauch, back before we threw hot dogs at him.
Glen Perkins: He can throw left-handed! Not everyone can do that, you know.
Eric Hacker: Can go to the concessions stand during the game in full uniform without being recognized, which takes some doing.
Drew Butera: Gives hope to every player at every level that can't hit.
Jason Repko: Considerate enough to not slap any of those pesky extra-base hits, which result in extra running for both opponents and teammates.
Justin Morneau: Very tall, so he can reach things on high shelves.
Jason Kubel: Has reclaimed the "scraggly beard" from the hobos and drifters of America.
Denard Span: Polite enough to refuse to call out his teammates for failing.
Nick Blackburn: Sinker that doesn't sink makes opposing hitters feel better about themselves.