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Twins Down Athletics 9-5.

INVISABUL HOOLA HOOP  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
INVISABUL HOOLA HOOP (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Getty Images

Francisco Liriano flirted with disaster all night. The Twins wasted opportunities to blow the game wide open. They won comfortably. Such are the 2011 Minnesota Twins.

The Twins' 9-5 victory can be credited partially to a bad outing by Oakland ace Gio Gonzalez, who somehow walked Drew Butera on four pitches and then walked home the fifth run before exiting the game. You can also give some thanks to the Athletics' fielding, as two third-inning errors led to a run scored on a double play. But your main heroes were Twins:

  • Jason Kubel, Professional Hitter. His 2-out, 2-run double in the first gave the Twins an early lead.
  • Liriano. Inconsistent, but he went seven innings and gave the bullpen...some relief. (YYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!) (/horatio kane) (/2008 memes)
  • Trevor Plouffe. Despite some baffling baserunning decisions, Plouffe delivered two RBI and helped turn two critical 4-6-3 double plays that killed Oakland rallies dead.
  • Matt Tolbert. A couple singles, the "6" in those 4-6-3 DPs, and provided a much-needed break for Tsuyoshi Nishioka.
  • Michael Cuddyer. After getting shut down most of the night (2 Ks and a double-play), he delivered a 3-run dong in the 8th off Michael Wuertz to make it a blowout.
  • Glen Perkins. Closed the door with two strikeouts after the Twins bullpen made the blowout sort of not one.
  • Wuertz. After giving up the Cuddy shot, he loaded the bases, when all I wanted to do was wrap this up and go to bed. Jagoff.
  • Jose Mijares. Given a 9-2 lead, he quickly turned it into a 9-5 lead on Josh Willingham's second homer of the night. Again, when all I wanted to do was wrap this up and go to bed. Jagoff.
Twins remain 6 GB of Detroit, but gain a game on Cleveland. All the Twins who were Twins when you woke up were still Twins when I went to sleep. Enjoy your weekend, everybody.