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Nick Blackburn Got Blown Up, Twins Win Anyway Because It's The White Sox

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If you only watched the first inning, you would have thought two things: nice start for the Twins, and THANKS A LOT NICK BLACKBURN YOU LAZY POOP.

However: this is the Twins and White Sox. Things ain't over after one inning, which is why Nick Blackburn gets a win despite not having anything worth a good goddamn tonight in Minnesota's 8-5 victory.

The Twins got off to a good start, with former Twins' 1B Joe Mauer hitting his hardest-struck ball of the year to center-right for a double. Michael Cuddyer drove him home with a bloop-ish single and staked the Twins to a 1-0 lead.

Chicago answered with a pants-down spanking, tagging Blackburn with 5 runs and 6 hits in the bottom half of the frame, and we're still waiting for Adam Dunn's home run to land.

Were this a standard-issue game, you'd be forgiven for giving up on this one and waiting until Saturday. But this is Twins/White Sox, and the rest of the game followed the script that has been written in the 29 Minnesota victories of the last 36 games played by the two squads.

The Twins kept chipping away at Sox starter Gavin Floyd, constantly putting runners on base and knocking him out well before Blackburn. With the score 5-3 in the 4th, French Resistance fighter Rene Tosoni tied the game with a single to right, chasing Floyd and bringing in Will Ohman. Ohman ran a full count to noted Australian guy Luke Hughes, and Hughes took a 3-2 pitch to Pleasuretown and gave the Twins an 8-5 lead.

Despite the fact that this was the top of the 4th and the game was nearly 2 hours old, nothing else of note even happened. Blackburn gutted his way through the 5th to get the win. The Chicago bullpen, Jesse Crain included, stanched the bleeding. The Minnesota bullpen (Dumatrait, Burnett, Nathan, Capps) held serve. And thus, the Twins beat the White Sox again, because that is what the Twins and White Sox do.

Studs: Luke Hughes and Rene Tosoni. Holy heck, you guys.

Duds: Danny Valencia couldn't hit a goddamn thing tonight. No matter.

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.