Let's look on the bright side, now. The Twins got four hits. They could have got no hits. And wouldn't that have been embarrassing for everyone involved? See, when you look at things the right way, nothing's that bad.
So let's ignore the fact that the Twins didn't get a runner to third base all night. That it took them until the sixth inning to get a man on with less than two out. That Jesse Crain struck out Michael Cuddyer. That even with almost no one on base the entire game, the Twins still contrived to go 0-4 with runners in scoring position.
Focus on Kevin Slowey. He was pretty good, wasn't he? Seven strong innings, two runs on six hits and a pair of walks. Nobody went deep on him and he got out of a couple of jams. It's the kind of pitching performance the Twins certainly wish they would have had more of this year. If they hadn't had a Triple-A lineup - Cuddyer and Jason Kubel excepted - out there in the field, then they might have been able to take advantage.
And let's not forget about Tsuyoshi Nishioka. He got a hit and drew two walks. Mark Buehrle couldn't get him out! And Nishioka even started a double play and wasn't charged with an error! I tell you, it's almost like that guy played baseball before. I wasn't sure up until now but I think just maybe he's done this before.
Okay, this whole recap is dripping with sarcasm, but you know what? This season's a lost cause. As Jesse pointed out on Twitter, no good can come of making Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau play through debilitating injuries. Better to get them healthy and ready to have good off-seasons - which both sorely need - than to run them out in Chicago to get even more hurt. Yes, the Twins are just a half-game out of last place now, and yes, that sucks, but in the long run is anybody really going to care whether the Twins finish fourth or fifth this year? It'll still be disappointing, but no more disappointing, you see what I'm saying?
So - and I'm being serious now - I say that we spend the rest of the year embracing the moral victories. Keep your eyes on Ben Revere - can he draw a few walks and become a high-OBP guy? Can Trevor Plouffe become the new Michael Cuddyer - a jack of all trades with some right-handed pop? Can Luke Hughes hit on a consistent basis? Can Danny Valencia stay out of the doghouse for twenty-four consecutive hours? Can Jason Repko draw a major-league paycheck all the way until the end of the season?
I'm not saying it'll be fun, because it won't be. But we might as well try to focus on the good.
Stars are Slowey for pitching well, and Nishioka for at least balancing out the bad with the good tonight. Duds are pretty much everybody else. Including Matt Capps, who gave up a run. No optimism there, I'm afraid.
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