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Champagne SuperTolbert

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(Some of you may know that Twinkie Town Editor-in-Chief Jesse is a 'uge Oasis fan. With that in mind, and with very little else to say about this epic bummer of a season, we'd like to present a song parody based on the 2011 Minnesota Twins, using the best Oasis song as its backbone. Apologies in advance to the Gallagher brothers and Al Yankovic.)

How many times do lineups change?
Question Nishioka's range?
Where were you while Plouffe was throwing high?
Gardy walking to the mound
Mauer hitting balls into the ground
Where were you while Plouffe was throwing high?
Blaming things on Danny,
Games caught by not the right guy,
In a Champagne SuperTolbert in the sky
Blackburn knocked out early
Enter Phil Dumatrait
In a Champagne SuperTolbert
A Champagne SuperTolbert in the sky
Wake up Delmon and ask him why
When tracking flies, is he high?
Revere three hops to hit the cutoff guy.
Denard, Morneau, Kubel and Joe
Trainer's room is always full
Where were you while Plouffe was throwing high?
Blaming things on Danny
Francisco walked their #9 guy
In a Champagne SuperTolbert in the sky
Matt Capps just grooved another,
Don't look up Wilson Ramos,
In a Champagne SuperTolbert
A Champagne SuperTolbert
'Cuz we can't believe
That they're sellers 'fore the end of the summer
Pitch-to-contact will never die
Duensing starts again and we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i
(guitar solo)
How many times do lineups change?
Question Nishioka's range?
Where were you while Plouffe was throwing high?
Slowey walking down the hall
Quoting Proust to one and all
Where were you while Plouffe was throwing high?
Blaming things on Danny,
Jimmer's back with the Tribe,
In a Champagne SuperTolbert in the sky
Baker's elbow's creaky
Don't look up J.J. Hardy,
In a Champagne SuperTolbert
A Champagne SuperTolbert
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna finish behind the Royals
But you and I will always cry
When Nishi's at the plate and we don't know why,
Why-why-why-why-i-i
(a really long guitar solo)
(background - sounds like a bunch of "Joe"'s)
(birds chirping)
(more guitar)
How many times can lineups change?
Question Nishioka's range?
Where were you while Plouffe was throwing high?
Plouffe was throwing high <-- 9 times, background "Jooooe-oooh"