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DJ Names for Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and the Rest of the Minnesota Twins 40-Man Roster

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Everyone knows Trevor May (DJ Hey Beef) and Erik Komatsu (Komo Beatz) have DJ handles. What this post presupposes is...maybe they all do?

Sheets made a silk, drink white milk, single up the middle if you get my ilk.
Sheets made a silk, drink white milk, single up the middle if you get my ilk.
Elsa

We have reached the point in baseball's off-season where finding things to write about is a nightmare when there are no roster moves. Put another way: we've reached the point in baseball's off-season where "DJ names for everyone on the 40-man" seems like a brilliant goddamn idea. Enjoy or despise as per your belief system:

  • Joe Mauer: Mistah Good X-ample
  • Justin Morneau: MC Mapul Surrrrrp
  • Alex Burnett: DJ Harvee Korman
  • Jared Burton: Neckbeard 'n Sadness
  • Glen Perkins: Throwz Left, Beatz Rite
  • Chris Parmelee: GENE
  • Vance Worley: DJ Traded 4 Revere
  • Drew Butera: Da Pitcha Handla
  • Jamey Carroll: Jamey Carroll
  • Ryan Doumit: MC Doumit 2 Hell
  • Trevor Plouffe: Plouffe or Gone-sequences
  • Darin Mastroianni: Inspectah Place Holda
  • Tyler Robertson: Lenny
  • Anthony Swarzak: Da Slip'ree Ape
  • Liam Hendriks: 5th Wiggle
  • Mike Pelfrey: DJ Express Ya Pelf
  • Scott Diamond: Get That Paper (in the Recycling Bin 4 Mother Earth)
  • Josh Willingham: Yess Pigg
  • Kyle Gibson: MC Inningz Limit
  • Chris Herrmann: No Relation ta Edward
  • Casey Fien: Obligatoree Ex-Tiga
  • Brian Duensing: Bitchin' 2 Contact
  • Cole De Vries: Eden Prairie ¢-er
  • Kevin Correia: Rotation Filla Outta
  • B.J. Hermsen: DJ Herm, Son
  • Pedro Hernandez: I'm on the 40-Man Roster?
  • Brian Dozier: MC Gardee's Dawghouse
  • Pedro Florimon: Royal Tenenbaums Criterion Collection Edition on Blu-Ray
  • Aaron Hicks: Bound ta Dizzapoint Ya Rubes
  • Eduardo Escobar: The 3rd Escobar
  • Joe Benson: OG Gardee's Dawghouse
  • Oswaldo Arcia: Craig
  • Daniel Santana: Doesn't Actually Like Santana
  • Josmil Pinto: Ask Ya Doctah If Josmil Is Right 4 U
  • Tim Wood: Tim Wouldn't
  • Michael Tonkin: Honky Tonkin' Badonkatonkin w/Michael Tonkin featuring Gary
  • Caleb Thielbar: Prone 2 Allergeez
  • Ryan Pressly: DJ Merle Osmond
  • Josh Roenicke: Enya Mixxtape