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More Than You'll Ever Need to Know About Darin Mastroianni

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Yesterday, the Twins claimed outfielder Darin Mastroianni off waivers from Toronto, designating relief pitcher Esmerling Vasquez for assignment to make room for him. You're probably saying to yourself, "Who is that?" If you're me, you're also probably saying, "Esmerling Vasquez? He was on the 40-man? I should've remembered that, since I write about the Twins in a light-hearted manner once a week." Here, then, is a little more about Darin Mastroianni, another piece of the puzzle that is the 2012 Minnesota Twins.

  • He's 26.
  • He has played in one major league game in his career, on August 24th of last year. He went 0-for-3.
  • The only reason he played in that game was because Kelly Johnson forgot his passport.
  • As noted by Rhett Bollinger at MLB.com, his best season in the minors was 2010, when he was the Double-A Eastern League leader in steals and hits.
  • He has played for both the Lansing Lugnuts and the New Hampshire Fisher Cats, both of which are not made up. A good prank might be to assign him to the Waterloo Clog Dancers, just to see if he buys it. "Eff it, maybe that's their thing down there."
  • He does not appear to be related to the great Italian film actor Marcello Mastroianni. Yes, he died before you were born, but he had a child with Catherine Deneuve and dated Faye Dunaway when that meant something, man.
  • Is Aaron Gleeman nonplussed by the move? Yes. He gives it two "meh"s.
  • Seth Stohs says/speaks that offensively, Mastroianni's high-end would be Ben Revere. His low-end is former Twins designated hitter Jason Tyner (never forget). Joe C. thinks Jason Repko is a good comparison, and says he is not expected to be on the Opening Day roster.

As per usual, if anything else happens in Twins Territory today, we'll check back in. Pick the move apart, complain about how bad The Office has gotten, talk about girls or do whatever it is you do in the comments.