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Stunningly Attractive Area Women All Agree: Blogger/Beat Writer Arguments Drive Them Wild

Photo of Kate Upton included entirely for the sake of pageviews.
Photo of Kate Upton included entirely for the sake of pageviews.

Local hot chicks agree: nothing has grabbed their attention and held it like the latest dust-up between Twins bloggers and beat writers.

"I'm not going to even pretend to lie: this made me want to have babies with all parties involved," said Brianna Strohmeier, 27, a striking, 5' 9" blonde with perfect teeth and skin. "When they went back and forth about who was more reliable: a reporter who had to answer to corporate bean-counters or an independent blogger with zero access to the players or management? Shivers. My toes curled!"

The controversy, which erupted on Tuesday night when 1500ESPN's Phil Mackey questioned the reach and accountability of some Twins bloggers, has ignited an outpouring of base, gutter desires in the metro area's complete babes.

"Oh, God, I had to put my Droid away and get off the internet for awhile," groaned Gina Escovedo, 19, a caramel-skinned, long-legged University of Minnesota freshman. "If there's one thing that just does it for me, it's when one baseball writer takes the high ground, and then ANOTHER one seizes it right back. And just when you think it's done, a THIRD guy steps in and says they're both frauds? Ohhhhhhhhh...."

Indeed, none of the recent headlines involving the Twins, be it the firing of Bill Smith, the departure of fan favorite Michael Cuddyer, or the demotion of Tsuyoshi Nishioka, seems to have galvanized the unimaginably beautiful women in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area quite like the question of how accountable Twins bloggers are versus their professional media counterparts.

"I consider myself devoutly religious, and am saving myself for marriage," said Chelsea Tollefson, a stunning 22-year-old dance instructor from Eden Prairie. "But when my Twitter starting blowing up on Tuesday night, it was like I was overwhelmed by this torrent of filthy, wanton lust. All I could imagine was an independent, untamed blogger whispering ‘My analysis is free of compromise and corporate interference' in my ear as we sank beneath waves of erotic bliss."

Area women who you have zero chance with (not in a million years) say that the only thing that could possibly turn them on even more would be if the viability of advanced metrics like VoRP and UZR was brought into play. Said Escovedo: "Oh my goodness, if one of the local columnists started mocking xFIP and talking about someone's mother's basement, I'd have an orgasm right there on the spot, full stop."