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Cole DeVries, Amateur Mall Historian and Other Twins Fast Facts

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The greatest trick Anthony Slama ever played was convincing the world Jeff Gray existed.
The greatest trick Anthony Slama ever played was convincing the world Jeff Gray existed.

There was a fair amount of turnover on the Twins roster in the off-season. Six weeks into the season, the upheaval just keeps on upheaving (not a word). Even those who obsessively follow the Twins and their minor-league affiliates could be forgiven for tuning into a game and going, "What? Who?" Twinkie Town, as always, is here to help, with these interesting bits of info on the new members of your favorite baseball team.


P.J. Walters

#39 / Pitcher / Minnesota Twins

6-4

215

R

R

Mar 12, 1985


DID YOU KNOW? Walters is the first adult to go by P.J. since the actress P.J. Soles (Stripes, Rock 'n Roll High School).


Cole DeVries

#38 / Pitcher / Minnesota Twins

6-2

180

R

R

Feb 12, 1985


DID YOU KNOW? DeVries, an Eden Prairie native, wrote what is considered the definitive history of Eden Prairie Center ("The Baskin-Robbins Only Had 22 Flavors, and Three of Them Were Vanilla") as his college thesis, and knows the secret handshake that will get you a free pair of khakis at the Gap.


Erik Komatsu

#25 / Right Field / Minnesota Twins

5-10

175

L

L

Oct 01, 1987


DID YOU KNOW? You may know that Komatsu's Twitter handle, @Komobeatz, refers to his side project of crafting hip-hop/electronic instrumentals. But you probably didn't know that his other Twitter handle, @Komocheez, is all about his true love: taking Instagram pictures of Cheez Whiz cheese product.


Scott Diamond

#58 / Pitcher / Minnesota Twins

6-3

190

L

L

Jul 30, 1986


DID YOU KNOW? Diamond doesn't consider the Laff-A-Lympics to be a part of the Scooby Doo canon. Don't even ask him about the Scrappy Doo episodes. He'll just get up and walk away.


Jeff Gray

#60 / Pitcher / Minnesota Twins

6-3

195

R

R

Nov 19, 1981


DID YOU KNOW? He's not real. You can't prove it, and neither can I. He's probably Anthony Slama, and this is how he was finally able to get another shot in the bigs.


Darin Mastroianni

#19 / Left Field / Minnesota Twins

5-11

190

R

R

Aug 26, 1985


DID YOU KNOW? His error on Wednesday night was deemed an 8 on the 1-10 Scale of Absolute Delmons, with 1 being only barely Delmon-esque, and 10 being an error that results in a game-winning RBI, mascot-on-mascot violence, and post-game anti-Semitic slurs.


Jared Burton

#61 / Pitcher / Minnesota Twins

6-5

225

R

R

Jun 02, 1981


DID YOU KNOW? His beard's debut album, Skyline Chili, was called "a harrowing journey into the depths of a human soul, and a nice discussion of facing National League vs. American League hitters" by Rolling Stone. The single, "Pine Tar Brown (Song for Joey Votto)," reached #37 on Billboard's Heatseekers chart.