Series Preview: Twins at Rangers News and Notes

This four-game series in Arlington includes two afternoon games. In Texas. In August. I can think of a few things that'd be more fun, up to and including a nice swift kick in the ass.

Schedule (Saturday on FOX, all others FSN)

• Thursday: 7:05pm, Scott Diamond vs Roy Oswalt
  
• Friday: 7:05pm, Samuel Deduno vs Matt Harrison
  
• Saturday: 3:05pm, Forecast high 93 degrees, Brian Duensing vs Ryan Dempster
  
• Sunday: 2:05pm, Forecast high 94 degrees, Cole De Vries vs Corey Scott Feldman

Rangers Notes

• This is exciting - coming into this series, Texas has the opposite record to the Twins - 72-51, the American League's best record, vs. the Twins' 51-72, the AL's worst record.
• Adrian Beltre hit home runs in his first three at-bats yesterday against Baltimore, including two in the fourth inning. He followed it up by grounding out and hitting into a double play, though, so I think the important thing is that he's averaging more than one out per plate appearance over his last two PA.
• In sixteen starts this year for the Cubs, Ryan Dempster had a 2.25 ERA. Since coming over to the Rangers? 6.04. Welcome to a league where they actually know how to use the bats, buddy.
• Speaking of knowing how to use the bats: the Rangers are first in runs scored in the majors, first in batting average, second in OBP, and second in slugging percentage. The Twins are running the Killer D's at them in this four-game set, in which I predict Texas will set a new big-league record by scoring more than 1,200 runs.

Twins Notes

• I have made jokes about Denard Span's shoulder injury. Yesterday, it turned out that he couldn't go through with a second MRI because he's horribly claustrophobic and can't stand to be in the machine. To Span, I say: I feel for you, man. Those machines are awful and expecting you to deal with this terrible fear would be expecting something beyond humanity from you, which wouldn't be fair in any way. Hope you feel better.
• You all thought I was going to make a joke in that last bullet point, didn't you? You thought I was going to mock a man's pain because you think I'm a monster. I'm kind of hurt. I thought we were cool.
• In other health news, Carl Pavano is done for the year, all because his shoulder injury was originally mis-diagnosed. In related news, the Twins are hoping next year to work with some doctors that didn't do their medical training on Wikipedia.
• In minor-league news, you'll like this article about Rochester hitting coach Tom Brunansky, who is one tremendous mustache away from making it back to the big leagues.