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There was a lot of news this week about Twins and former Twins players getting back together, with the Twins signing Jason Bartlett to a minor league deal and rumors of possible reunions with AJ Pierzynski, Johan Santana, and Matt Garza. All the talk got us here at Twinkie Town (EDITOR'S NOTE: actually just myjah) to thinking: what other former-Twins could the Twins sign this offseason?
Below, in no particular order, are the results of our extensive research and analysis. Terry Ryan: you're welcome.
Carlos Silva
Age: 34
Last Played for the Twins: 2007
Last Played in MLB: 2010 for the Chicago Cubs
Last Played Baseball: 2011 for the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees (Yankees AAA affiliate)
You probably thought Silva was like 43 years old by now--but he's actually only 34! Cray right? Silva last played in the majors with the Cubs in 2010, where he pitched 113 innings with a 4.22 ERA. He also pitched in the Yankees' minor league system in 2011, and did quite well. Plus, he married a girl from Minnesota, didn't he? Does he still live here? He'd probably come back even if he doesn't.
J.D. Durbin
Age: 31
Last Played for the Twins: 2004
Last Played in MLB: 2007 for the Philadelphia Phillies
Last Played Baseball: 2013 Lamigo Monkeys (CPBL in Taiwan)
J.D. "The Real Deal" Durbin has done it all: Minor League, Major League, Mexican League, Nippon Professional Baseball league, Chinese Professional Baseball League, Independent Atlantic League--you name it, Durbin has pitched in it. Your kid has probably faced him in their little league. He is, after all, "The Real Deal," according to himself and/or Al Newman circa 2002 (EDITOR'S NOTE: Al Newman and J.D. Durbin are no longer associated with the Twins).
He's only 31. He was the Twins Minor League Player of the Year in 2002. He probably hates Taiwan. Plus, there is a very small chance he could maybe, actually be successful. Maybe. Probably not.
Nick Blackburn
Age: 31
Last Played for the Twins: 2012
Last Played in MLB: 2012 for the Minnesota Twins
Last Played Baseball: 2013 for the Rochester Red Wings (Twins AAA Affiliate)
Maybe 2014 will be Nick's year!
Luis Rivas
Age: 34
Last Played for the Twins: 2005
Last Played in MLB: 2008 for the Pittsburgh Pirates
Last Played Baseball: 2009 for the Iowa Cubs (Cubs AAA affiliate)
Did you know Luis Rivas played two games as the DH for the Twins? Wow. Anyway, maybe he's matured by now. Baseball America once rated him the 55th top prospect in the country! It's worth a look. (DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!)
Terry Tiffee
Age: 34
Last Played for the Twins: 2006
Last Played in MLB: 2008 for the Los Angeles Dodgers
Last Played Baseball: 2012 for the Gwinnett Braves (Braves AAA affiliate)
If Nick Punto and Matt Tolbert had a baby, you'd get Terry Tiffee. This kid is a fighter. After not getting any deals to play in 2010, the Tiffster came back playing for the independent league Lancaster Barnstormers in 2011, and then signed a minor league deal with the Yankees. He again started the season with the Lancaster Barnstormers in 2012, before signing a minor league deal with the Braves. He didn't play baseball in 2013, but it's not like this guy hasn't sat a year out before. I'm sure he'd come back to play for the Twins. He'd suck, but he'd easily have the best name on the team.
Mike Lamb
Age: 38
Last Played for the Twins: 2008
Last Played in MLB: 2010 for the Florida Marlins
Last Played Baseball: 2011 for the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees (Yankees AAA affiliate)
Didn't the Twins finally stop paying Lamb just around the same time they started to suck? Get this guy back on the books.
Juan Rincon
Age: 34
Last Played for the Twins: 2007
Last Played in MLB: 2010 for the Colorado Rockies
Last Played Baseball: 2013 for the York Revolution (Atlantic League [independent])
Here's another one from the "I thought that guy was past 40 by now" file--Juan Rincon is actually just 34, and still pitching in the independent leagues! Last year in the Atlantic League he pitched 47 innings with a 3.26 ERA. Give him some more of that stuff he swore he didn't know was banned PEDs and he could be back in major league form.
Micheal Nakamura
Age: 37
Last Played for the Twins: 2003
Last Played in MLB: 2004 for the Toronto Blue Jays
Last Played Baseball: 2012 for the Saitama Seibu Lions (NPB)
Ok, so this one might be a little bit unrealistic, since Nakamura is said to have retired after 2012--but could a deal in America coax him out of retirement? Nakamura was successful in his last season in NPB (that's Japanese baseball for all you nerds out there), posting a 2.86 ERA in 22 innings pitched. Maybe the Twins could turn him into a starting pitcher! It's time to get creative.
Terry Mulholland
Age: 50
Last Played for the Twins: 2005
Last Played in MLB: 2006 for the Arizona Diamondbacks
Last Played Baseball: 2006 for the Arizona Diamondbacks
Terry Mulholland, even at 50 years, could still lob a ball over the plate. You think this is unrealistic? Please.
Luke Hughes
Age: 29
Last Played for the Twins: 2012
Last Played in MLB: 2012 for the Oakland Athletics
Last Played Baseball: 2012 for the Las Vegas 51s (Blue Jays AAA Affiliate) (or maybe some unknown Australian Baseball Team)
Luke Hughes has basically just been putting another shrimp on the barbie in the land down under, while playing some weird football/rugby type game, and maybe also playing for some Perth baseball team that doesn't exist on the internet. Who knows what is even going on in Australia. Heck, for all we know Luke Hughes is down there hitting more home runs than Sadaharu Oh. He's the youngest guy on this list. Sign him up.
Matt Guerrier
Age: 35
Last Played for the Twins: 2010
Last Played in MLB: 2013 for the Chicago Cubs
Last Played Baseball: 2013 for the Chicago Cubs
I just don't see this one happening.
Bobby Korecky
Age: 34
Last Played for the Twins: 2009
Last Played in MLB: 2012 for the Toronto Blue Jays
Last Played Baseball: 2013 for the Buffalo Bisons (Blue Jays AAA Affiliate)
The only Twins pitcher to get a hit for the Twins in an American League game since the designated hitter was enacted in 1973. I see a lot of flexibility here. Potentially.
LaTroy Hawkins
Age: 40
Last Played for the Twins: 2003
Last Played in MLB: 2013 for the New York Mets
Last Played Baseball: 2013 for the New York Mets
The Twins TOTALLY have this one in the bag. LaTroy is older than dirt! Heck, he is so old he was actually teammates with Kirby Puckett! No one would want this guy!
Wait, what? A lot of other teams are actually interested in him? Really? Huh...