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Miguel Angel Sano: A Primer

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The stud prospect was a surprise starter in Thursday night's pretend game against the New York Yankees. Get to know him a little better in this Twinkie Town Primer and surprise your friends with these facts and some crap I made up to fill space.

MIGUEL SANO IS ATTACKING THE CITY
MIGUEL SANO IS ATTACKING THE CITY
USA TODAY Sports

  • However you are currently pronouncing his name, it is wrong.
  • He is huge. Please observe this picture of him with Robinson Cano. Some have asked whether he'll become too big to play third base, when perhaps the real question is if Sano will become so big that batted balls will enter his orbit and gravity will direct them gently into his glove. This would definitely solve the fielding issues he had at Beloit last year.
  • You're terribly concerned about the 2013 starting rotation. As you should be. What to do about it? Try this: whenever Kevin Correia is getting shelled, just whisper "Miguel Angel Sano. Alex Meyer. Byron Buxton" over and over until you've reached a serene, calm place. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay.
  • Some say that he is the first Twins prospect to have a movie made about him. However, longtime Twins fans know that both Weekend at Bernie's films are based on a series of implausible misadventures that happened to Lenny Faedo.
  • Speaking of, the filmmakers behind Pelotero are making a sequel, again featuring Sano. If you haven't tapped out your Kickstarter cash getting the Veronica Mars movie off the ground, you can support them here.
  • I now want Sano to be a part of the Veronica Mars movie. He could maybe be an exchange student taken in by a wealthy 09er family that wants to exploit his athletic talent.
  • But he better not come between Veronica and Logan. Those two were just meant to be, you guys.
  • Aaron Gleeman loves him more than Mila Kunis and Julie Klausner combined.
  • Jim Souhan thinks it's a possibility that Sano will be the Twins starting third baseman in 2014. That would be cool, right?
  • Given that he's from the Dominican Republic, there is at least a small chance that he's a 28 year old named Arthur.
  • As we've mentioned, he's big and getting bigger. Fangraphs illustrates just how big in this exclusive slideshow.
(Our good friends at Twins Daily are having a viewing party for tomorrow's Twins/Rays pretend game at the new 612 Brew taproom in NE Minneapolis. You should go.)