Fast Reaction: Tigers 4, Twins 0

Through five innings, Scott Diamond and Rick Porcello were locked in what ball guys call a "pitcher's duel." But Detroit put up what ball guys call a "crooked number" on the scoreboard against Diamond in the 6th, as the Twins' starter again appeared to run out of gas just after the game's midpoint. Those four runs would prove to be all the scoring in the game, as the Tigers blanked the Twins 4-0, or as ball guys call it, a "shutout." (I'll stop now.) Diamond actually had two outs posted in the sixth and was on the verge of escaping the Tigers' greatest threat of the night, but he hung a breaking ball to Prince Fielder, who is one of those "don't hang a breaking pitch to him as he likes to hit those hard and far" guys, and Fielder drilled his second double of the game and plated the game's first two runs. A single and another double followed, and the Canadian hurler was poutined (not a word and doesn't make a lick of goddamn sense in any context) after 5 and 2/3 innings. Casey Fein, Ryan Pressley, and Caleb "Meat Raffle" Thielbar finished out the game and allowed no further damage. This didn't matter, as the Twins were unable to solve the deep, abiding mystery of Rick Porcello. 7 innings, 3 hits, 5 strikeouts, 0 walks. Oswaldo Arcia drilled a ground-rule double to straightaway center, but otherwise, they had nothin'. Jose Valverde, Tigers closer and uninspected carnival ride that smells like gasoline, walked Joe Mauer to start the 9th, but a double play followed and any thoughts of a wonderful, gutting comeback disappeared in a Justin Morneau strikeout. Prior to the game, the Twins honored Eddie Guardado and Tom Mee by putting them in the team's Hall of Fame. That was your Friday night highlight. Enjoy your weekend, everybody. ROBOT ROLL CALL: 1. SooFooFan 2. kenzertz 3. BC Twins 4. jere.johnson.37 5. DavidRF 6. 2wins87 7. KOHG 8. twinsgirl197 9. markos 10. desertaaron CHARTS & GRAPHS:
Source: FanGraphs