The Tampa Bay Rays are looking to assemble a starting lineup that a front office source says is "just rat bastards, the lot of them." This philosophical shift was further in evidence on Thursday, when they signed former Ray/accused anti-Semite Delmon Young to a free agent deal.
"Delmon got his start here, so we like to think of this as a potential career bookend for him," said the source, who asked to remain anonymous. "Plus, getting loaded and spouting Jewish slurs? In New York City? Welcome home, DY!"
Tampa has quietly accumulated players who are either alleged or confirmed total fucking creeps. In addition to Young, the Rays now have:
- Luke Scott, birther who threw plantain chips at Felix Pie
- Josh Lueke, accused rapist who pleaded to a lesser charge
- Yunel Escobar, homophobe who wrote a gay slur on his eyeblack
- Josh Sale, someone who pelts strippers with quarters and insults