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Royals 13, Twins 0: This Game Sucked (An Oral History)

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The highlight of this game was Jamey Carroll pitching the bottom of the 8th inning, which is pretty much all you need to know about this game.

Trevor Plouffe making a routine catch on the third baseline.
Trevor Plouffe making a routine catch on the third baseline.
Peter G. Aiken-USA TODAY Sports

Twins starting pitcher Kevin Correia manged to pitch one scoreless inning tonight before things started to get dicey. He gave up six earned runs in the bottom of the second inning.

Twinkie Town member Jere.Johnson.37:

Dammit Correia!

Member Blakem95 chimed in:

bases loaded walk. cool

Long time member montanatwinsfan:

oh boy kevin...

Kevin Correia was pulled after pitching two innings, but things didn't exactly improve from there. Brian Duensing did come in and pitch three scoreless innings, but at this point almost everyone was talking about A-Rod and PEDs so they didn't notice.

The Twins offense continued to be anemic.

montanatwinsfan:

Go Guthrie Go

donate to the Twin’s retirement fund for all they are doing to pad your next contract…

Despite being down 6-to-0, some Twins fans still showed optimism.

kenzertz:

Here we go, Twinkies! Here we go!

Clap Clap!

This optimism was rewarded with a brilliant catch by Twins third baseman Trevor Plouffe, which sent him tumbling over the railing on the third baseline (and he was given no help by the Royals, as noted by Corey Provus and Kris Attaberry).

twinsgirl197:

Holy crap! TREVOR I LOVE YOU

Brian Dozier also had a few nice plays, but the game pressed on with no runs by the Twins. This did not go unnoticed by the Twins faithful.

Spotsavenue:

This game has very few suckiness mitigating factors

maybe Brian

ColossusOfRhode replied:

Plouffe's catch?

In the bottom of the sixth inning Twins reliever Ryan Pressly gave up three earned runs. He stayed in the game, however, and managed to give up four more earned runs in the bottom of the seventh, bringing the total score to 0-13.

twinsgirl197:

Well, crap

SooFooFan:

So things could be going better tonight

myjah:

I'm going back to the yankees game

The eighth inning is when things REALLY got interesting for the Twins. That is, in the bottom of the eighth, the Twins sent lego-headed position player Jamey Carroll out to the mound. I kid you not. Carroll marks the seventh position player in Twins history to pitch for the Twins, and he had a fairly quick inning with two pop-ups and one ground-out.

kenzertz:

Jamey Carroll on the mound.

less cowbell, more 'neau:

Really?

I wish I was home to see this!

ColossusOfRhode:

So, Jamey gets the win if the big comeback happens here, right?

Unfortunately there was no big Twins come back. There was not even any little Twins come back. Or any Twins runs at all. There's really nothing else to be said about this sad, sad game.

ROLL CALL!

1. kenzertz (68)
2/3. DavidRF (53) (tie)
2/3. twinsgirl197 (53) (tie)
4. blaem95 (35)
5. montanatwinsfan (32)
6. ColossusOfRhode (31)
7. myjah (29)
8. jere.johnson.37 (25)
9. Sportsavenue (16)
10. less cowbell, more 'neau (11)

Win Expectancy Graph

20130805_twins_royals_0_20130805224814_live_medium

via www.fangraphs.com