Glen Perkins Announces New DJ Project, "Glen's Twerkin'"

Glen Perkins plans to spend the upcoming off-season as he normally does: spending time with his wife Alisha and their children, enjoying winter sports like hunting and ice fishing, and...dropping some dirty, rump-shaking funk in Minneapolis' hottest night clubs?

Yes, the Twins All-Star announced on Thursday the formation of his one-man DJ project, Glen's Twerkin'.

"I've really developed a love for electronic music the last few years," said Perkins to a group of reporters in the Twins clubhouse. "I'm in a position where I can share that love now, and I can't wait to drop some science."

Perkins was asked what the music would sound like. He contemplatively stroked his neckbeard for awhile before answering.

"I want it to have that freak-nasty, bass-heavy Washington County steez," said the Stillwater native. "You just get on the floor and shake that ass. From the window to the wall to almost St. Croix Falls."

Perkins said he's immersed himself in decades of dance-music history and culture in order to better inform the kind of music he'll play.

"Man, I listened to everything," said the bullpen ace. "All the genres: grime, dubstep, chillwave, no-wave, trance, garage, trip-hop, Detroit house, techno, industrial, skacore, pinhead, lamestain, tweaker, boogersleeve, flan, Joyce Brothers, staph, all of 'em. Take a little bit of the best from each one, and that's Glen's Twerkin'.

"Also, I'm playing a lot of Metallica's black album and REO Speedwagon. Ladies love the 'Wagon."

Twins officials say they have no concerns with Perkins' project, so long as it doesn't interfere with baseball activities.

"Obviously, we can't have our closer popping Molly and smoking the reefer," said Twins GM Terry Ryan. "But Glen's assured us that he'll be strictly adhering to his winter regimen of pork ribs and Spotted Cow. We hope he has fun and that the party people get buckwild."