Nonexistent TV shows that would draw higher ratings than the Twins

1. Ron Gardenhire's BodyShape

34. Shouting! with Mike Lupica

79. The Million-Second NASCAR Quiz

110. Carissa Explains It All For Like The Fiftieth Time, Moron

147. Up Close: The Dangers of Elective Surgery

164: Paul Allen Of KFAN Just Stares Into the Camera Until You Feel Dirty And Unsure Of Your Place In The Cosmos

198. How I Met Your Podiatrist

213. Ricky Rubio's Adorable Cuteness Hour

242. Discovery Channel Marathon: Here's More Random Stuff Blowing Up, You Plebeian Simpletons

273. This Week In Projectile Vomiting

312. Lifetime Movie of the Week - Fluffy: The Bartolo Colon Story

342: QVC Late Night: How Much For This Handful Of Slop?

339. Wide World of Bandy

393. VH1's 25 Sexiest Phils #12: Donahue

410. How Did Skip Bayless Get On TV Again, Somebody Do Something

473. Jim Souhan Decides Your Life

539. TLC Prime Time: Let's Punch A Scientist In The Face

558. Drinking, Crying, and Typing: Inside the Life of a Twins Beat Writer