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Joe Mauer's Critics Analyze Peyton Manning's 7-TD Performance

Manning became just the sixth QB in NFL history to throw seven touchdowns in one game. Joe Mauer's critics explain why he sucks.

Doug Pensinger

Peyton Manning made NFL history on Thursday night, throwing seven touchdown passes in Denver's 49-27 whipping of defending Super Bowl champion Baltimore. And as Joe Mauer's critics note, he is a soft loser who can't win when it counts.

"All I know is Baltimore beat 'em in the playoffs last season," said Dennis Lang, 47, of Andover, who watched the game at the Coon Rapids Buffalo Wild Wings. "Gimme a leader like (Tim) Tebow or A.J. (Pierzynski) any day."

Manning became the sixth quarterback in NFL history to throw that many touchdowns in one game, and the first since the Vikings' Joe Kapp in 1969.

"You're talking about a guy who skipped an entire season because of an injury," said Lang's friend Brent Gustafson, 44, of Winsted, referring to Manning missing the 2011 season due to neck and spinal fusion surgeries. "He may as well just have 'MAUER' and '7' on the back of his jersey. Soft. You can't even sneeze on a quarterback without a 15-yard penalty, and now he's got a sore back? Yeah, sure. You play through pain, girls."

"I work in a warehouse," added Lang. "My back hurts all the time, but I show up every damn day. Where's my car commercial?"

Lang and Halvorson agreed with the sentiments expressed in the comments to LaVelle E. Neal's story about Joe Mauer's concussion rehab in Thursday's Star Tribune, and say Manning is cut from the same cloth.

"These two losers are getting paid $20 million to play a kid's game, they decide when they're healthy enough to play, and they can't win when the chips are down," said Lang. "Run up the stats on a Thursday night, Peyton! Get five singles against the Royals, Mauer! Good for you! I'm being sarcastic."

They also disputed the notion that Manning and Mauer are likely first-ballot Hall of Famers in their respective sports.

"These chumps have one ring between them," said Halvorson. "If those stat geeks want to do some math that really matters, Peyton's little brother (Eli) has two rings by himself. That goofy MFer has twice as many championships as Peyton and Mauer. Case closed."