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Outfielders. So, so many outfielders. But the real hard part? Nixing A.J. Pierzynski. For the first time since I've started putting these teams together, I couldn't in good conscience give him a roster spot. Perennial favorite and ageless wonder LaTroy Hawkins, however, still makes the squad - so, y'know, no worries there. In case you want to take a spin through the incarnations of previous years:
2013 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2006
Let's roll through this team and then you can give me your thoughts.
The rejects
That's probably an unfair name, but these guys were all at the very least written down if not compared to their contemporaries who were eventually awarded roster spots.
- A.J. Pierzynski
- Drew Butera
- Garrett Jones
- Alexi Casilla
- Yangervis Solarte
- Darin Mastroianni
- Josh Willingham
- Sam Fuld
- Liam Hendriks
- Kevin Correia
- Evan Meek
- Kevin Slowey
- Sam Deduno
Starting Rotation
| Player | GS | IP | ERA | WHIP | K/9 | With Twins |
| Kyle Lohse | 31 | 198.1 | 3.54 | 1.15 | 6.4 | 2001 - 2006 |
| Francisco Liriano | 29 | 162.1 | 3.38 | 1.30 | 9.7 | 2005 - 2012 |
| Matt Garza | 27 | 163.1 | 3.64 | 1.18 | 6.9 | 2006 - 2007 |
| R.A. Dickey | 34 | 215.2 | 3.71 | 1.23 | 7.2 | 2009 |
| Vance Worley | 17 | 110.2 | 2.85 | 1.21 | 6.4 | 2013 |
Edit: It was pointed out to me in the comments that I'd somehow blanked on Vance Worley. He gets that fifth starter's spot and Sam Deduno is out. Following paragraphs have been edited appropriately.
It's not a great group, but it's not terrible by any means. I like the guys in the first four spots, though, and I feel like that quality would help you skate by with a guy like Worley as the number five. I'm happy that Worley was able to revive himself a little bit this year, but losing him for nothing is looking like more of a disappointment now than it did when it actually happened. You just wish the Twins had noticed some of the things that Pittsburgh's coaches apparently did.
Just like last year, Lohse and Dickey are the 200-inning guys while Liriano and Garza make up the Enigmatic Duo. At least we don't have to settle for Deduno, Hendriks, Correia, or Slowey as the number five.
Bullpen
| Player | G | IP | ERA | WHIP | K/9 | With Twins |
| Joe Nathan | 62 | 58.0 | 4.81 | 1.53 | 8.4 | 2004 - 2011 |
| Pat Neshek | 71 | 67.1 | 1.87 | 0.79 | 9.1 | 2006 - 2010 |
| LaTroy Hawkins | 57 | 54.1 | 3.31 | 1.20 | 5.3 | 1995 - 2003 |
| Grant Balfour | 65 | 62.1 | 4.91 | 1.44 | 8.2 | 2001 - 2005 |
| Joe Beimel | 56 | 45.0 | 2.20 | 1.18 | 5.0 | 2004 |
| Craig Breslow | 60 | 54.1 | 5.96 | 1.86 | 6.1 | 2008 - 2009 |
There's a lot of experience in this group, which is a nice way of saying that it's a group that's getting old. Breslow and Neshek are 34, and they're on the young side. Hawkins will be 42 (42!) in December; Nathan is 40 (40!!) in about three weeks; Beimel, who hadn't pitched in the Majors since 2011, will be 38 in April; Balfour is 37 in December.
Could this be an effective relief crew? Potentially. There's a lot of closer experience here (Hawkins, arguably, was the best of the closers in this group in 2014), there are a couple of strikeout arms, and the experience in general means that there would never be a situation where your relievers wouldn't be calm, cool, and collected. Even if they twitch like a horse.
Almost all of these guys have their best days behind them, but what do you think? Could the best of this group get you through a season?
Bench
| Player | G | PA | HR | SB | AVG | OBP | SLG | With Twins |
| Wilson Ramos (C) | 88 | 361 | 11 | 0 | .267 | .299 | .399 | 2010 |
| Steve Pearce (1B/OF) | 102 | 383 | 21 | 5 | .293 | .373 | .556 | 2012 |
| Danny Valencia (UT) | 86 | 284 | 4 | 1 | .258 | .296 | .371 | 2010 - 2012 |
| Delmon Young ("OF") | 83 | 255 | 7 | 2 | .302 | .337 | .442 | 2008 - 2011 |
| Ben Revere (OF) | 151 | 626 | 2 | 49 | .306 | .325 | .361 | 2010 - 2012 |
All things considered, that bench is pretty solid. It could be one of the best benches we've ever had for an ex-Twins team. And that's great, because finding a seventh reliever would have been really hard. Finding a fifth bench player, this year, was easy. It does mean the team is weak in the middle infield, but we were pretty thin on the ground there, too.
On the other hand, the bench provides some good offense in terms of some good contact hitters and a little power, but it also provides some first-class speed in community favorite Ben Revere. You're also allowed to punch Danny Valencia, whenever you want, just because of his smile.
It's a fake team and I'm granting you access. No, I'm not condoning that you punch Danny Valencia in the face in real life. Even if I might understand why you'd want to.
Starting Lineup
| Player | G | PA | HR | SB | AVG | OBP | SLG | With Twins |
| Denard Span (LF) | 147 | 668 | 5 | 31 | .302 | .355 | .416 | 2008 - 2012 |
| Michael Cuddyer (3B) | 49 | 205 | 10 | 3 | .332 | .376 | .579 | 2001 - 2011 |
| Carlos Gomez (CF) | 148 | 644 | 23 | 34 | .284 | .356 | .477 | 2008 - 2009 |
| David Ortiz (DH) | 142 | 602 | 35 | 0 | .263 | .355 | .517 | 1997 - 2002 |
| Justin Morneau (1B) | 135 | 550 | 17 | 0 | .319 | .364 | .496 | 2003 - 2013 |
| Torii Hunter (RF) | 142 | 586 | 17 | 4 | .286 | .319 | .446 | 1997 - 2007 |
| Rene Rivera (C) | 103 | 329 | 11 | 0 | .252 | .319 | .432 | 2011 |
| J.J. Hardy (SS) | 141 | 569 | 9 | 0 | .268 | .309 | .372 | 2010 |
| Nick Punto (2B) | 73 | 224 | 2 | 3 | .207 | .296 | .293 | 2004 - 2010 |
This is a fascinating group. Span had a great season all around, Gomez is a legitimate star, Hunter and Ortiz continue to be productive players well into their late 30s, Cuddyer and Morneau have excelled in Colorado, and Rene Rivera had a career year at the dish. He earned himself the starting catcher's job. Which was entirely unexpected.
As for Cuddyer at third - I know, I know. But he did play three games there this year, and I told you at the start - we had too many outfielders. It was this or Danny Valencia, and I think we can all agree that I've made the right call. Disagree if you want but you're wrong. Wrong, I tell you.
Using Baseball Musing's lineup tool, this offense (and this lineup construction) would score 5.294 runs per game. That's 858 runs in a year, which is more than good enough to cover any multitude of sins committed by the pitching staff or any defensive liabilities.
With that, there's only one thing to ask. How would this team do if it were a real roster?