(NOTE: Stu is out of town for the weekend, so he asked Tom Hanson if he could step in. He already regrets this decision.)
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! I don't call it Turkey Day, because why should Joe Mauer get his own holiday! Ha!
Anyway, I'm Tom Hanson, in case nobody said nothing. I've been on Twinkletown before, in case you were wondering:
- Mauer Shouldn't Of Left The Team
- Area Clod Wants to Know What You Think of Joe Mauer Now
- Twins Should Of Moved Mauer, All Right
I don't care for being called a clod, but Stu said they fired the dingus who wrote the headlines here. John Martindale, I think it was? (EDITOR'S NOTE: Jon Marthaler. He was not fired. Stu is lying because he is afraid of Tom.)
Anywho, lotta stuff has happened since the last time I checked in, but it's mostly been good stuff. They got ridda Gardy, they got ridda Andy, and that should make me happy, right?
THEY SHOULD OF FIRED MAUER, TOO.
The song "Two Outta Three Ain't Bad" is a quilt of lies that won't keep you warm at night. Remember that.
So, while I like that they got a real St. Paul boy like Molly to be the skipper, the fact that they still have Mauer gettin' $23 million to sit on the bench really frosts my hinder. Unless and until they get that taken care of, I'm still gonna be a burr in their saddle. I played town ball back in high school, so I know a thing or two about the game myself. Would of probably been a draft pick if I hadn't tore up my knee trying to break up a double play at my beer league co-ed softball game. Tom Hanson doesn't know when to stop competing.
(If you were wondering, that's my way of saying there's a difference between me and Joe Mauer.)
(He doesn't know when to start, if you missed it. (EDITOR'S NOTE: we didn't))