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A List of Other Things Aaron Hicks Is Giving Up

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The struggling Twins outfielder gave up switch-hitting earlier this week. He's not stopping there.

has not given up fielding, but he's open to anything
has not given up fielding, but he's open to anything
Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

  • Salty snacks
  • Fantasy football
  • Fantasy NASCAR
  • Fantasy hockey
  • Dungeons & Dragons
  • Clash of Clans
  • All versions of poker except Low Chicago (no wild cards, either)
  • Eating after 7:00 PM
  • Attempting to get caught up on Mad Men.  He's halfway through Season 2.  He understands why other people like it, but it just doesn't do anything for him.
  • Dairy
  • Collecting Hummel figurines.  Just too expensive, not enough time during the season to pay attention to it.  Selling them to Tom Brunansky for $45.
  • Yellow Starbursts
  • Orange Starbursts
  • Tropical Starbursts
  • All the other alternative Starbursts.  Just cherry and strawberry Starbursts for Hicksy going forward.
  • Crossfit
  • Pilates
  • Krav maga
  • Hot yoga
  • Cold yoga
  • Room-temperature yoga
  • est
  • Primal scream therapy
  • Kickboxing (sport of the future his ass, Lloyd Dobler)
  • His dream of opening a taproom in Northeast Minneapolis.  Too much market saturation.  Maybe Richfield?
  • Hashtag activism
  • Arcade Fire.  Nothing's really grabbed him since Funeral.
  • Daylight Saving Time
  • Selling Norwex
  • Selling Mary Kay
  • Selling Amway
  • Learning a second language
  • Learning ceramics
  • Learning French cooking
  • The novel he's been working on.  It's just terrible.  The characters, the plot, everything.  Just better off starting over.  Shit.
  • OKCupid
  • Facebook
  • Match.com
  • His blog
  • Farmville
  • Candy Crush
  • Bejeweled Blitz
  • 2048
  • The Frogger machine he bought on a whim at a flea market
  • FarmersOnly.com.  It's only for farmers. They're serious about this.
  • Homemade jerky making.  Again, tough to do during the season, and you need to get the seasoning mix just right.  Putting the surplus meat in Perkins' locker.
  • South Beach Diet
  • Atkins Diet
  • Paleo Diet
  • Jason Kubel's "Just Gravy and Fries" Diet
  • Batting from the right side, too.  Pitchers will be forced to adjust.  Let's. Play. Ball.