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Rockies Down Twins, 6-2

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Kris Johnson got lit up.

Justin Edmonds

I spent most of my night at the Other Place, a bar in Hector, Minnesota.  There was a cover band called Dam Jammers there, and they played bluegrass covers of today's and yesterday's popular favorites.  If you want to know what Sexy And I Know It sounds like with a mandolin, I can tell you: it's unfortunate.

BUT: you're not here to read about that.  The baseball game was on the radio on the drive there and the TV at the bar, and I can confirm that multiple sources are reporting that the Rockies beat the Twins by a score of 6-2.  (Beats the hell out of Chris Broussard.)

Kris Johnson, called up to start tonight, fooled absolutely no one.  In four innings of work, he surrendered five runs and eight hits, including Troy Tulowitski's 21st dong of the year.  It was bad.  Sam Deduno, Matt Guerrier and Jared Burton perfomed adequately in mop-up duty.

The Twins were unable to dig out of that hole against Colorado starter Jorge de la Rosa, who gave up all of one run on an Ed Escobar double in the second.  The win gave de la Rosa 10 victories on the year.

In former Twins news: Justin Morneau went 0-for-4, and LaTroy Hawkins, the oldest player in major league baseball, pitched a scoreless 9th.

In conclusion: Kris Johnson was overmatched, LaTroy Hawkins is older than hell, and bluegrass bands shouldn't attempt LMFAO.

ROBOT ROLL CALL

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Source: FanGraphs

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.