The Twins, under fire for not promoting minor league pitching prospects Trevor May and Alex Meyer, defended their decision to keep them in Rochester on Thursday. Twins GM Terry Ryan denied that it had anything to do with service time, and said it was for an altogether different reason.
"We have a process for our young players on their way to the majors, and Trevor and Alex have yet to complete it," said Ryan. "It's as simple as that."
Twinkie Town has learned that neither May nor Meyer have correctly answered a series of secret riddles, handed down from generation to generation, that are said to have been in place since Tom Kelly's time with the franchise.
"We don't comment on the specifics of our process, just like any of the other teams you'd ask," said Ryan. "All I can tell you is that, when they're ready, they'll be here."
Meyer has a 5-4 record with a 3.11 ERA in 101 innings pitched. May has been equally effective, posting an 8-5 mark with a 2.94 ERA in 82 innings. However, it appears that both pitchers have been replacement-level at best when it comes to answering a series of ancient riddles, some as old as the written word itself.
Multiple former Rochester players, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed that the quiz takes place in a dimly lit corner table at what the team calls "the most spiritual Buffalo Wild Wings in upstate New York." The restaurant, located at 780 Jefferson Road, appears to have no religious component to it, but the tests do appear to coincide with the chain's popular Wing Tuesdays and Boneless Thursdays promotions.
A source in Rochester confirms that neither pitcher has been able to correctly answer Tolkien's "Thirty White Horses" puzzler or Einstein's "Five Houses" riddle. "The minute either one of those guys says, ‘The German,' they'll be on the next flight to MSP," said the source. "Gary Gaetti figured it out, so can they."
When asked if Aaron Hicks, who looked overwhelmed with the Twins, had correctly answered all the riddles, a team official would only say that the Twins were unprepared to learn that, "you can look the answers up on your phone computers. We've taken some steps to counter that, but it's disappointing when your young players think fads like computer phones and wireless fidelity can help you at the major league level."