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Twins Blast Tigers, 20-6

A 6-run second and a 9-run sixth allow the Twins to wallop the spiraling Tigers.

this happened a lot
this happened a lot
Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

The Tigers needed a victory to keep up with the surging Kansas City Royals in the AL Central.  The Tigers did not get a victory, as the Twins embarrassed Detroit by a final of 20-6.

After Ian Kinsler gave the visitors an early lead with a solo dong in the first, the Twins pasted Tigers starter Robbie Ray in the second.  The inning began with back-to-back-to-back doubles from Kennys Vargas, Oswaldo Arcia and Trevor Plouffe. Then two majestic 2-run dongs were stroked by good ol' Ed Escobar and Danny Santana, making it a 6-1 game and chasing Ray after the latter recorded just four total outs.

Twins starter Tommy Milone was able to capitalize on his good fortune for almost five innings.  Unfortunately, the 5th is when the Tigers stormed back, roughing up Milone and Anthony Swarzak for four runs.  Milone's line: 4.1 IP, 3 ER, 10 H, 3 K, 0 BB.

And that's when the going got ridiculous.

In the bottom of the sixth, Detroit walked six Twins.  Six.  They also committed a couple errors.  So, that's eight plate appearances where the Twins did basically nothing, and the Tigers just said, hey, doubleheader tomorrow's cool, right?

Honestly, just go look at the boxscore for that inning.  I'll give myself carpal tunnel describing the carnage.  Joe Mauer batted with the bases loaded twice.  Although he notched three RBI in those two appearances, he'll probably get his ass kicked by someone who wants dingers.

The Twins added two more runs in the seventh.  I think?  Honestly, DOES IT MATTER.

The Tigers upped the absurdity meter by putting shortstop Andrew Romine in to pitch the 8th.  Unlike noted position player pitching ace Sweet Drew Butera, Romine pitched like a position player.  Kennys Vargas hit a double, then Oswaldo Arcia and Trevor Plouffe went back-to-back with long, long dongs.  Arcia's hit a flag pole and probably killed a guy. Plouffe's dong got Minnesota to 20.  Escobar got to hit with a chance for the cycle after the aforementioned dong, and got a single instead, "settling" for a 5-hit game. What a weird night.

Robot Roll Call

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1 wayback 69
2 twinsgirl197 56
3 Twinguy1 37
4 kenzertz 11
5 gonzobob 9
6 NoahRJ 3
7 less cowbell, more 'neau 1
8 Bloopers and Practical Jokes 1

Charts & Graphs

Source: FanGraphs

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.