Minnesota had a storm yesterday, and I was stuck in St. Paul and unable to get back to my home in St. Cloud. It also prevented me from writing any humorous content for the Twinkie Town website, a property of SB Nation. So, I am scrambling to write something before work on Friday morning, and unable to come up with anything good. I realize my standards for "good" are sketchy at best, but I can't even get a decent "Joe Mauer enjoys milk and angry Facebook dads hate him" scenario.
What I'm going to attempt to do, then, is riff on the current headlines on our site. I will provide links to them so you can read actual, thoughtful shit. Here we go.
Minnesota Twins Prospect Vote Round 8. WHERE THE EFF IS B.J. GARBE?!!??!
Peter Bourjos Could Be Available for a Song. What song? I really like that Uptown Funk song by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. Has a Prince/The Time/Jam & Lewis sound without being derivative.
I think that's a good song. Can we get him for that song? (The song you can get Jason Bartlett for is absolutely "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas.)
BREAKING: Pierzynski Ready to Punch a Guy. I didn't write this? This seems like something I would write. Weird.
Spring Training Reporting Dates Set. It's going to be 1 in St. Paul today. 1 degree. I am going to report to Spring Training if that is okay, despite not liking Florida.
Vote for the Twins Hall of Fame 2015. WHERE THE EFF IS B.J. GARBE?!!??!