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The Everyday Miracle of Kent Hrbek's Twitter Account

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A big man in a tiny hat = ALWAYS FUNNY.

When do you think was the last time Kent Hrbek tucked in a shirt?
When do you think was the last time Kent Hrbek tucked in a shirt?
Genevieve Ross/Getty Images

There are few things better in this world than Kent Hrbek's Twitter account.  It's a celebration of eating, drinking, and destroying wild game with a variety of weaponry, written in an "uncle from Bloomington who always tells the kids to pull his finger at Thanksgiving dinner" voice.  To wit:

A big man in a tiny hat = ALWAYS FUNNY.  The margarita and the demolished remains of a chimichanga platter are just gilding the lily.  This picture should be on a FOREVER stamp, and it's frankly sad that the USPS is dragging its feet on this.  Get your shit together, Obama.

Kent Hrbek knows New Year's Eve is amateur hour.  Tommy Herr probably loves going out on New Year's Eve.  Go suck an egg, Tommy Herr.  (Your Twitter account blows, too.  Not one picture of you in a tiny hat, just some autograph signings and apocryphal Thomas Jefferson quotes.  Wad.)

The appearance of vegetables in Kent Hrbek's tater tot hotdish just lets you know that he's full of surprises.  You would guess, of all people, that Kent Hrbek would be on the "no veggies" side of the TTH divide, choosing instead to go with tots, ground chuck, a cream-based soup, and maybe some cheese for calcium and bone health.  But nope, there they are, the same Festal brand mixed vegetables your folks deviously secreted into your hotdish when you were a kid.

Also: Kent Hrbek's emoji game is ON POINT.

He didn't like Katy Perry or that dead Nationwide kid.

Have any of the Twins charity auctions ever put  "Watching The Big Lebowski with Kent Hrbek" up for bid?  Because that would fund a butt-ton of important medical advances.  A butt-ton.

The alternative, more legally damning version of this tweet is that he's hunting retired Milwaukee Brewer Rob Deer, which would be illegal even in South Dakota.

Come on Twitter.