Game Thread: Twins at White Sox

Game Time: 1:10 PM CDT (19:10 GMT)

Forecast: Sunny, High Near 57

TV: FSN. Radio: It's Still A Thing.

You remember Jim Thome as a Sox. If you don't, Nick Blackburn sure does. Blackburn pitched a pretty great Game 163 against Chicago in 2008, giving up one solo dong to Thome. It was enough to lose 0-1. A.J. Pierzynskiewicz was the Sox catcher, and Ken Griffey was the CF. Anyone that remembers Griffey was briefly a Sox, you are Old. Your youth is over. Mourn away.

Who blanked the Twins in that game? No cheating by looking it up, or you don't win a lollipop. If you said John Danks, I can always get my hands on that lollipop for you. 'Tis true, Danks pitched for them then, and pitches for them now. He may be doomed to roam the White Sox bullpen for eternity, or until the Second Coming.

Speaking of pitchers, today Chicago (0-4) has Jeff Samardzija. I used to go to Twins games with a gentleman who liked hearing the names of players broadcast over the Dome PA system. He'd sit there like a lump while the crowd cheered baseball plays, but he'd get all excited when Bob Casey read a name he found amusing. "Ohh! GUUUUZman! That's a funny name, yeah!" He'd have loved Jeff Samardzija.

Samardzija is, I suspect, better than any Twins starting pitcher. Here's ya statz:

I understand little of these matters; however, yup, he's better. The Twins are throwing Mike Pelfrey out there. For anyone new to Twins fandom (not likely, what would compel them to start NOW), Pelfrey is . . . well, you will learn. Others will be here to share your torment. Drink/smoke/snort/inject no more than you can handle. Don't let one Pelfrey send you over the edge into insanity.

Pelfrey was pissy when overlooked for the #5 starter job ending Spring Training. (Now he's the #4!) He claims he'd been rockin' it out on the mound. You go, Mike. Believe in yourself. I've heard that's The Secret.

Lineups below. Note Chris Herrmann hitting seventh. Note who's beneath him. Now tremble in fear.