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Little Tommy's hopes for Twins dashed early

"This is a life lesson, Tommy. Get ready for about 90 years of disappointment."

David Banks-USA TODAY Sports

After yet another soul-crushing defeat on Sunday afternoon, little Tommy came to realizations generally meant for a more mature individual: life is cruel, and nobody ever ends up happy. Especially in sports.

"Why do the Twins always lose?" little Tommy asked his father who, staring off into the middle distance, could only shrug.

Like so many other children of his age, four-year old Tommy entered into the 2015 season as a life-long Twins fan thanks to his family's long-standing loyalty to the regional Major League club. Three Twins baseball caps hang on a hook by the front door, frequently worn out by Tommy's father and older brother and sister, all of whom have had many more years' experience in being let down by the Twins and are better equipped to understand why the baseball gods choose to punish us as mercilessly and pitilessly as they do, as though we are naught but playthings so easily toyed with and then brushed aside and forgotten as they carry out their omnipotent existence.

But for the family, and most acutely for little Tommy, the dreams of a competitive Twins team in 2015 have been cruelly dashed upon the treacherous and devastating rocks of reality. Tommy's father believes, as painful as this crushing epiphany may be, that "knowing how life really works" will be better for his boy in the long run.

"This is a life lesson, Tommy," his father eventually replied flatly. "This team will never win again. But we're lifelong fans. There's no such thing as changing loyalties. You're born into a fandom and you'll die as a part of that fandom. So get used to it, kid. Get ready for about 90 years of disappointment."

"Okay, dad," said little Tommy.

At press time, little Tommy's father was seriously considering further destroying his son's innately optimistic, hopeful nature by confronting him with the harsh truths about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.