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Cleveland Rocks, Wins 4-2

Danny Salazar is the Greatest Pitcher, Ever. Or, as Ron Gardenhire used to say, "we ran into a guy throwing well right now."

This AAA pitcher kicked the Twins' butts.
This AAA pitcher kicked the Twins' butts.
Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Danny Salazar, a 25-year-old Cleveland pitcher, struck out 10 Twins batters today. Danny Salazar was relegated to AAA at the beginning of this season, as he struggled in Spring Training, and Cleveland's gurus thought they had five better starters. Danny Salazar struck out 10 Twins batters today.

Phil Hughes, a 28-year-old (29 coming up soon! You're almost old, Phil! Lament all you wish you might and shall never become) Minnesota pitcher, is winless in three starts. He's doing just fine. The Twins did not much hit. This happens. It probably will happen more often to the Twins this year than it did to, say, Lou Gehrig's historic teams, because this year's Twins are not quite so good, right this moment, at hitting.

Would you like a chart? Let's do a chart. Let's only use the most-often-played-most-often nine players. We'll stick with batting average, since that's a meaningless stat, it's old and dumb. Chart:

Joe Mauer .282
Torii Hunter .229
Brian Dozier .220
Kurt Suzuki .214
Oswaldo Arcia .200
Danny Santana .195
Kennys Vargas .189
Jordan Schafer .143
Trevor Plouffe .143

Paul Molitor resisted his impulse to shoot every Twins batter directly in the face, and there will be another game tomorrow.

Robot Roll Call:

# Commenter # Comments
1 myjah 60
3 Christian Ryan 51
4 less cowbell, more 'neau 32
5 SooFoo Fan 32
6 kenzertz 19
7 Devereaux 7
8 sdsujacks 4
9 clutterheart 3
10 Desert Aaron 1

Thanks to everyone who joined in despite the nice weather and exciting hockey playoffs!