MIN 7, CLE 4, WTF

Bruce Chen was so excited about this opportunity to pitch in the bigs again, he flew his family in from Panama. Yup, I just pooped all over your "hahaha Chen sucks" vibe. Sorry. The radio told me so, and now I tell it to you. We'll all forget Bruce Chen is a human person with hopes and aspirations. But, hey, let's remember this! A guy flew his family in to watch!

Chen did what he does, which is throw junk and try to fool batters. It's worked before, sporadically, over 15 years. It didn't work today. At least, since Chen's been a major leaguer for so long, the tickets shouldn't have set him back too much. I am sad for him, though. I can afford such sympathy, since TWINS WON!

I kinda feel like this Twins run is "Occurrence At Owl Creek Bridge." That's an old short story, you may have read it in school. A Civil War guy, about to be executed by hanging, escapes and has adventures. (It also became a "Twilight Zone" episode.) Turns out, it was all a dream, the guy's executed, he dies horribly.

When are we going to find out that every semi-good Twins player got injured, eaten by Bigfoots (feet?) or retired to pursue a career in microbrewery? Not yet! Good enough in my book! Santa is real!

After the Twins nuked Chen for a big early lead, Phil Hughes got into some trouble late. Brian Duensing couldn't help, and Aaron Friggin' Thompson not only ended that inning -- he pitched a scoreless next. Who the hell is this person? According to local scribe Patrick Reusse, Thompson has magical powers which stem from his unkempt hair. Okay. It's baseball. I don't understand it and neither do you.

The rope will snap, doom will ensue, but this is crazy fun right now.

Robot Roll Call:

Thanks everyone for joining in!