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NYY 8, MIN 5: A-Rod Casts Darkness Over The World

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The Twins offense blooms early, then fades, along with Perkins and any love/happiness you'll ever experience.

A-Rod should have been English royalty. Note umpire Jeff Nelson bowing.
A-Rod should have been English royalty. Note umpire Jeff Nelson bowing.
Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

Did you know the Twins haven't won a home series against the Yanquis since 2008? Now you know. Perhaps you knew before. I can't read your mind. Or Can I

CC Sabathia has been struggling in recent years, and the Twins took advantage early. Aaron Hicks -- yeah, that guy, he's doing better now -- donged in Brain Dozier with no outs in the first. Twins 2, Yanquis 0. Torii Hunter donged Hicks and Sano during the third. Twins 5, Yanquis 0.

A-Rod hits a homer. 5-1. A-Rod hits another homer. 5-2. (You can see where this is going.)

With two outs in the sixth, Minnesota loaded the bases for Aaron Hicks, who got called for strike three. Normally I'd be all over Hicks for this. I pick on players doing poorly, it's a character flaw I'm trying to fix. But the call was iffy and Paul Molitor came out to support his once-struggling, now-improving player. Molitor got tossed, as that's what happens when you intend to get tossed so you can show the team how much you care.

(Honestly? I doubt managers ever get tossed these days unless they want to. I've seen managers go batshit crazy on umps and stay in the game.)

This may or may not have been a thing later on. Definitely a thing was Minnesota not scoring any more, and New York scoring a little here, a little there, like a mobster taking something off the top. (Not that all New Yorkers are mobsters, but every New Yorker sees mob activity and does nothing about it, for perfectly good reasons. That truck unloading shirts in the alley at 6 AM, those are some nice shirts at good prices!)

You ended up with Glen Perkins facing A-Rod to lead off the final frame, Twins up 5-4. Would Molitor have kept Trevor May in against A-Rod (or brought in another righty) before summoning Perkins to face switch-hitters? Hard to say. SooFoo, DavidRF, several more commentators on the GDT (I'm bad with names, give me time) thought that might have been the best plan, given Glen's crushing blown save last Saturday. Maybe it would have been a good plan; maybe Molitor would have done so, I dunno. Molitor was gone, it is what it is.

A-Rod hit another homer (he is, even without roids, an immense talent) and Perkins kept imploding. The Twins lost, and lost hard.

Yankee fans screamed "shit ya you pussies" and went out partying, shoving lesser mortals out of their way until one big guy in a suit at the club told them "you shove me, your arms come off" and then they stopped shoving people, resorting instead to typing "shit ya" on their smartphones in a corner seat and telling their arm candy "did you see when I totally stood up to that dude? Yeah, he knew who he was dealing with."

Well, again, the Twins have a colon-clogging loss. Let's hope they rebound faster than they did after last Saturday's. Join the GDT tomorrow for Kyle Gibson against Nathan Eovaldi, whose surname sounds like he should be a creepy mage in Game Of Thrones or something. ("I don't deal in Dark Magicks! For that, you want . . . Eovaldi.")

MLB quickly puts up embed codes for videos of big-market teams doing stuff, and I originally had the footage of A-Rod's game-tying homer here, but screw it. less cowbell referenced one of my favorite songs, and it is more pleasant to watch that song than watch the Twins lose. Seriously; amazing song. Plug in your headphones and crank it loud, your crappy little phone/laptop speakers won't do it justice.

Robot Roll Call:

# Commenter # Comments
1 WestRiverTwinsFan 40
3 SooFoo Fan 38
4 DavidRF 32
5 wayback 15
6 sdsujacks 14
7 twinsgirl197 14
8 ColossusOfRhode 9
9 Alandovos 8
10 hitormiss1414 8
11 haydenaudette51 6
12 kenzertz 5
13 Theo77 3
14 TwinsFanYo 3
15 Name-Game 3
16 Imakesandwichesforaliving 2
17 stevemarth 2
18 BVB fan 2
19 mefoolonhill 1
20 Jesse Lund 1
21 Brananorama 1
22 Devereaux 1
23 twinssdfan 1
24 Gunnarthor 1
25 gonzobob 1
26 holsteinhill 1