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Kluber, Cleveland Club Twins, 6-1

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The Twins had no chance on Friday. None.

Corey Kluber was a good ballthrower tonight
Corey Kluber was a good ballthrower tonight
Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

The deck was stacked against the Twins going into Friday's game with Cleveland.  Their AL Central rivals had defending Cy Young champ Corey Kluber going against emergency starter Trevor May, who was on a 50-pitch limit.

AND THAT'S WHY YOU PLAY THE GAME!

(because sometimes what you think will happen, happens)

Kluber dominated the Twins on Friday night, with the only damage being done by a majestically stroked Joe Mauer dong.  It was the Twins' only hit, and Mauer will be ripped by area shitheads for not hitting a 6-run homer.  Kluber's one-hit complete game was friggin' masterful, and he should be saluted for it.

May got dinged in the second inning when, after Aaron Hicks Delmon'd a ball from Abraham Almonte into a triple, May gave up a two-run dong to Giovanny Urshela.  From there, Twins relievers took turns letting Cleveland expand their lead.  J.R. Graham gave up three earned runs, while the newly re-called Michael Tonkin gave up a run, too.  To be fair to Brian Duensing and A.J. Achter, they emerged unscathed.

Also, Eddie Rosario had two outfield assists that were really super cool.

Saturday's supposed to be just as shitty hot and the Twins have another emergency starter going, but Corey Kluber will not be pitching, so that's nice.

ROBOT ROLL CALL

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CHARTS & GRAPHS


Source: FanGraphs

Enjoy your weekend, everybody.