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An Alternate Universe Where the Twins Just Won Five in a Row to Reach .500

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In this universe, the President is Cheech Marin. This goes unexplained.

President Marin, seen here at the Kevin Costner Eaten by Dragons Memorial Scramble
President Marin, seen here at the Kevin Costner Eaten by Dragons Memorial Scramble
Michael Buckner/Getty Images

The Twins capped off a four-game sweep of the Toronto Blue Jays on Thursday night, extending their winning streak to five games and reaching .500 on August 6, the latest they've been at that mark since the 2010 season.

"We're playing really well right now, and it's nice to see," said Twins manager Paul Molitor.  "The season can really wear on you once you get to August, but the guys are responding in the way you'd like them to."

A quick read of Twins territory finds fans shocked and grateful for this unexpected run of decent play in a transitional season for the franchise.

"They've been a little better in every aspect of the game than I think anyone outside those clubhouse doors thought they would be," giggled Twins blogger and Minneapolis mayor John Bonnes.  "Even my former colleague, Aaron Gleeman, is stunned and surprised."

(Gleeman, who is currently serving five years in prison for his much-publicized Beanie Babies-based Ponzi scheme, used to host the Gleeman and the Geek podcast with Bonnes, and was unavailable for comment.  The podcast, which Bonnes quit to pursue his political ambitions, is now a lifestyle and travel show hosted by Parker Hageman and Belinda Jensen.)

Longtime Twins season ticket holder Glenn Trainor, a retired schoolteacher from Rochester, says he is thrilled with the direction things are going.

"They're three games out of a playoff spot, and we're a week into August.  If you would have told me in March that they'd be a wild card contender when the Vikings started playing, I'd have said you were nuts."

Trainor added that this was a ray of hope for Rochester, which is still recovering from when the dragons attacked it in 2013.

"We still live in bunkers 'neath the city, ever fearful of when our dragon overlords will rain fire on us again," said Trainor.  "President Marin's example inspires us, of course, but when you see the Twins playing meaningful baseball in August, that's a blessing, too."