This game was terrible. Thank god they won it anyway.
A roaring start from the slumbering offense was immediately wasted by Mike Pelfrey, but in spite of all that, the Twins clawed their way back to defeat Cleveland 10-9 while wearing some Dairy Queen giveaway jerseys.
The Twins jumped all over Cleveland starter Cody Anderson in the third. After the umpires had to call New York because they couldn't remember the frigging pitch count on Ed Escobar, the floodgates, they opened. Escobar singled in Aaron Hicks, Trevor Plouffe doubled in Escobar and Brian Dozier, Torii Hunter singled in Joe Mauer and Plouffe, then Eddie Rosario tripled in Hunter after Anderson was pulled.
As anyone who's watched the Twins during this skid can tell you, a 6-0 lead is nice, but nowhere near safe. Pelfrey went out there and proved it, getting the living shit kicked out of him in the bottom of the inning to trim the lead to 6-4, with a bases-loaded walk being the most nausea-inducing moment.
And the fourth inning was worse.
A Miguel Sano double had extended the lead to 7-4 in the top of the frame, but Pelfrey immediately gave a couple more back on a two-run double in the bottom of the inning, finally putting an end to his night. Newly called-up A.J. Achter made the transition very smooth from Pelfrey, surrendering a three-run dong to Yan Gomes, officially making everyone sad and disgusted.
But the Twins fought back, with a Hicks double off old friend Jeff Manship making the score 9-8 in the fifth, then a majestic dong stroke from Dozier leading off the sixth to tie the game.
Then the game settled the hell down, with no further damage done or even so much as a significant threat in the rest of the sixth, seventh, or eighth.
The ninth started with a 1-out solo dong from Hunter, followed up by another triple from Rosario, who was stranded right there. With Glen Perkins' troubles of late, it felt like this would be an issue.
It wasn't. The All-Star closer struck out the side, smattering a walk and bloop single in for seasoning. The Twins won a game they should have won by a lot, but they didn't, but they won, so good night.
ROBOT ROLL CALL
|7||less cowbell, more 'neau||26|
|17||Bloopers and Practical Jokes||5|
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Enjoy your weekend, everybody.